Beneath The Surface

BLOGSPOT officially closed.

2007-11-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

As of this moment, I would like to take this opportunity to those who took their time in reading posts I've written--or typed in this blog... and also to those who took all efforts in writing me a comment--positive or negative.

I would also like to take this opportunity to let you all know that I will not be using this account as my blog anymore... As you can see the last post is almost three years ago and is kind of well, depressing, so to speak... But for my new blog.. my new regular blog...

please visit or just click on the link:
http://killersmile07.livejournal.com

It's still called "Beneath The Surface" but with a different blogsite.

I've written or post on it since August of 2005 and I have been using it on and off (since I also have this blog) until recently... when I figured out how to use and design it effectively... The truth is, however, I haven't designed it myself but just got a code from a friend--applied this and that; and voila! A new colorful blog...

This blog, unfortunately doesn't have any music on it unless I post a link or an html as one of my posts... Although I haven't tried posting a video from youtube. My LJ blog also doesn't have a widget or a tagboard... LJ unfortunately discourage the use of tagboards and applying music on their site... But I posted a link on my sidebar to access my tagboard... Unfortunately(again!) there hasn't been anyone who tagged in my tagboard yet and so I'm hoping for one person to tag and start talkin' coz I'm listening...

Okay, so there... as of now, I'm officially closing this site down but I'm leaving it as it is... for you to view or know what my new blog is all about as I left a link here in my last post... Yes, this will be my last post here in my friendster blog.

Again thanks to all!!!...

Me? Depressed trying to die?... NAH......

2007-03-14T01:08:00.000-07:00

ARGH!!!....

Ever felt so Low?

As in super-duper Low... ?

And not just that...

Low and

ALONE?!...

Low and ALONE that it seems nobody's there to comfort you, be with you just for the company and not for the grades...?

Fuck it!

I'm crying this pain, this feeling of nausea, of pressure, of hurt, of sick, of being tired, of lonely... this depression....

New School. New Friends.

Yeah right... But friends who let you down... Who feels right to comfort you when they themselves are better-off?... And when they're not, they're the ones who'll forget you and focus on their pain...

LEAVING YOU BEHIND...

Sure, sure...

Haha..Hahaha... Hahahaha,,,,....

I just can't help the feeling of being sick...

*sick that I can't focus on my other majors because of this stupid groupwork I'm focusing on,that I, myself in the first place did not want.

*sick that I'm now failing my other subjects and my groupmates, particularly one of them, pressures me to concentrate on that groupwork because she's failing...

...HOW ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!?!....

Am I not failing?

Am I not doing good?

Fuck! In fact, you're doing a hell better than I am, and here I am focusing on this groupwork just because of you!!!...

ALL I HEAR FROM YOU IS "YOU"...

How about "ME"?!...

...Marcia.. Nice.. Remember?!...

...I am failing too!! And not just one subject but all subjects infact...

putang-inang buhay 'to...

...Makes me want to stop studying...

Can you feel that I'm depressed???...

...So depressed that I needed someone to talk to...??

But, as I've said, I'm alone-literally-in this school... That I just can't pour out my feelings--these bottled-up feelings--or, otherwise I'll go insane!!!...

FucK it!!!

Friend, where are you?

These raging feelings bottled-up inside me feels like their going to burst...pop-open rather...

And if I snap, who knows might happen...

Maybe I'll die...

Maybe I'll kill myself...

...just because of this...

And I know you would not want me to haunt your conscience knowing that it was "YOU" after all, who killed me...

I might as well die....

2007-02-28T19:25:00.000-08:00

A possible interview with my lola's sister, Tia Becky for Jessica Soho's show, "Kapuso Mo, Jessica", is really a great opportunity and a great support for my resume if ever I enter the Media. But I referred somebody else.

University of Maryland in U.S. wants to use my published article in Ang Pahayagang Plaridel, "Biofuel...", for their research or something. They want to use it for their foreign language studies. But I declined.

I met Paul London, Jimmy Wang Yang, Idol Stevens, Ref. Charles all from WWE. I also met Batista, and got a kiss from him because I won a meet and greet.

I now have a videocam, a new cellphone, and a USB flash drive, not to mention a silver 1994 Toyota Corolla.

Looking back, I am blessed. But now, I feel like dying.

I hate my life.
I hate being stressed-out.
I hate being pressured. Pressured to do something which I tried my best to do but failed...

I'm now on the verge of nervous breakdown, as I'm really sure to fail this one major subject of mine.

My first failure...

And i hate failure!!!!

===============================================================================
In case you don't think that Communication Arts is hard... I'm telling you,,, it is really, really hard!!! Especially when it comes to majors... VIDPROD and INTRORE... argh...

And i'm only in my second year....

name decoder

2007-02-19T02:51:00.000-08:00

For Lolo Raffy

2007-02-19T02:23:00.000-08:00

Lolo Raffy...

*a singer
*a songwriter
*an assistant director
*a father
*a brother
*a family
*a friend....

Rafael Verzosa, Tio Fael, my lolo Fael, as we call him, died last Feb. 12, 2007 (monday).

I don't know him that much but it pains me so much that i didn't know him while he was still here... I could've learned so many things from him, knowing that he was a director working with really famous people...

But I doubt that Lolo Raffy died a happy life... Lolo Raffy's first wife, Tia Yoli (sp?) and Tita Jelma(sp?), his 2nd wife have had this conflict and anger for each other for so long.... so long that when Lolo Raffy died, they even fought for the body... to whose house will be the burol...

Thanks to my lolas: Tia Linda, Tia Agnes, Tia Edna, Tia Percy, and Tio Otik; they were the ones who decided where the burol and the burial will be.... In Laspinas and Cavite...

Up to the Lolo Raffy's burol, I can feel the tension between the two wives.Tia Jelma talking badly about Tia Yoli regarding Lolo Raffy's burol--the problems they've had....

Tia Jelma, just can't hug Tia Yoli as Lolo Raffy's body is being lowered 6 feet below the ground...ARGH.... I did not cry during the last mass... I did not cry during the burol...I did not cry during the burial....

I cried everynight since Wednesday until last night for Lolo Raffy. I cried my anger for him that when everybody should be paying their respects, they are all trashtalking each other. That when the mass should be all about Lolo Fael, most who attended the mass were talking and texting--using their cellphones while the mass was going on!!!

I feel sad for Lolo Raffy...

.,.. that even when he was being buried, his two families cannot and would not reunite for him....

The Killers/ kilig factor attacks me!!

2007-01-24T02:18:00.000-08:00

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never...I never...I never...

You know how it is when you get kilig right?! The feeling is different...

My niece (who is older than me, btw) told me that when you're a lot older, kilig factor fades and what changes is the "lust"... Let me make this clearer...
In highschool, we always base our relationship in the kilig factor as I said. We always want that happy, bubbly feeling inside us... that feeling that always make us blush--make our cheeks pink rather, when we see our crushes, or say, "he looked pass my way" or "he smiled at me!"... Those thoughts, according to this niece of mine, fades as we grow older... And as we venture into our later teen years, after highschool, we begin to magsawa. The kilig feeling fades and it changes into lust...or sex...

She told me that, that is the next big step for a "mature relationship":to work... I disagree. I don't know but it doesn't make sense..If the kilig feeling fades, then sex should fade to... I mean if the kilig factor easily fades because of almost everyday-same-feeling to the point that it makes you puke, then sex might have the same effect. Lets face it, only the guys wants it and the girls are the ones who gets easily sawa with the mushiness of their boos. So, what the guy initiates is to take the next level... right?!

right.

I guess, I would never understand the idea of that being the basis of their relationship, ika nga niya, "'Yun na lang ang nagdadala sa relationship namin eh... You can't blame me. I also like it. 'Yung mga kilig-kilig na yan, nawawala yan pag tumatanda ka na..."

And I guess, only until i experienced it, then would i have understand... Maybe i would agree or still, I would disagree... They have their own opinions and so far, I have mine. I stick to it like the mightybond. super glue...

For me, it depends... I still get kilig... It's better than "lust"... I should say... Yes I've had my fantasies(I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin, mind you!!!!!), but i would prefer the kilig feeling...Maybe when I know I'm responsible enough to engage in that kind of act--when I'm financially stable, emotionally and spiritually prepared and when I've had my joys of single life.

In fact, kinikilig na ko ngayon kasi may nagbukas ng friendster profile ko whom i never expected to open it... damn... haha... si _ _ _ _ _ ....

It's so fun to have a not-so-serious crush... I like him.. I know him, but not personally... I haven't had the guts to talk to him in person.... I don't know if he had seen me in school, I hope he does... But him opening my profile and duh, if he opened it, it just means that he viewed my pics and read my profile... OMG.. this kilig feeling I sooo much miss....

I HATE YOUR GUTS...

2007-01-05T19:21:00.000-08:00

There are lots of pea-brained people running around EARTH! And I'm really glad that I'm not one of those "peeps" that doesn't appreciate the things they have!!! I came across the blog of this person I know (I won't mention the name), who complained how her day was so tiring after following a mambabalut for 4 hours.

Yes, I agree it is tiring. But did you even consider how tired that man was? What I mean to say is, he did not complain about anything, and yet he was carrying that heavy load for more than 4 hours everyday!! While YOU complain about walking for 4 hours( I bet you were complaining in your thoughts!)... and you weren't carrying same load he has. You didn't want to experience the hardship the mambabalut is going through...

ARGH!! YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK!!!.

Just because you're blessed, doesn't mean you have to cherish it all on your own...

Whatever happened to the saying, "SHARE YOUR BLESSINGS!"...

Demmet!! You only saw the negative things it did to you--how your feet hurt, how tired you were after the long walk... dammit!!!!!!

You make me sick!!!!

2006-12-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

Kukai, your closet's inspired by the Moment

You're a fashion-forward girl who is not just up on the latest trends — you're very likely setting them. Whether you're rocking a '60s babydoll dress or an '80s skinny tie, you know how to mix and match like nobody's business. You always manage to make a look that's thoroughly modern and thoroughly you.Whether your style runs funky or chic, you're a natural leader who knows confidence is a look that never goes out of style. So whatever look you'll be rocking next — even a daring pair of cuffed shorts — you're sure to be leading the pack. With your creativity and cool, we can't wait to see what you'll come up with next. Awesome!

IT'S SO UNFAIR....

2006-12-13T22:16:00.000-08:00

It's so unfair...

We just had our finals in INTROFI (Introduction to Film), which is why I studied really hard last night which went on until 2a.m.--which means, I only had 4hours of sleep...

well, because LITERA2 Finals was scheduled at 8:00am-10:00am...so I had to wake up at 6 to prepare and go to school... but demmet!!! TRAFFIC!!! so I was late... but i was still able to take the exam and did good on it! haha PERFECT SCORE!!! 100% correct!! and take note.. I didn't study...

THEN came INTROFI Finals... Once Sir Doy Del Mundo, handed out the papers and gave the signal to start answering the test, I answered all the questions that I know...only 10 questions left out of 75, and I'm done...Just then, Sir Doy paired us up for those who were having trouble answering the entire test. Unfortunately for me, I was paired with someone who didn't study!!! Yes, he knows some of the answers to the questions but I know I still didn't need him...why? Because sir Doy was giving out clues to the 2 enumeration questions--and once he gave it, I already know the answer... What I mean to say is, here I am studying 'till dawn for the finals to make up for the sablay interview I had with him, and here is this "partner" of mine who didn't study who just copied my answers--answers of which I'm sure of by the way--almost half of the questions he hadn't answered... Even the 3 areas/"world" of film making which was just recently discussed, he didn't even know and copied the answer from me... Yes, I might have taken some answers from him to but!!! BUT!!! Those were like 2-3 questions only and he took like more than 10 answers from me!! darn it!! IT'S REALLY REALLY UNFAIR... I wish I could've done it alone!! He doesn't deserve to have a high grade if he just copied most of his answers from me right?!

argh... I'm really really pissed off right now!!! He's obnoxious,, really, really obnoxious pa!!! Babagyuhin kayo sa yabang!! badTRIP!!!!!

Proof of STRESS

2006-12-13T00:13:00.000-08:00

You knee slapper, you. You rib tickler. You chucklepatch! You're the type who thinks any situation can be funny if you have the right attitude. You laugh stressful things off to keep yourself happy, and you use your sense of humor to help other people do the same. As long as you don't point that humor hose at anyone who doesn't exactly appreciate it, your funny bone will serve you well.

You can simplify your life by cutting back at work

You're a career-oriented person who's not afraid to log some long hours to get the job done — and done right. Your peers admire your drive and creativity and nothing feels better than hearing your boss or clients compliment your work. But, you know, if you glance out a window for a minute, you'll notice that there's a whole world going on out there, and you just might be missing a lot of it.While it's great that you're so committed to your career, you've got to make sure you're not forgetting about friends, family, and fun. We know you've got bills to pay and goals to attain, but don't make work your whole life. And if you just can't figure out a way to scale back your hours, then at least make sure you're planning a nice vacation — without your laptop or cell phone.

"A smile as memorable as historic PAL flight" --Philippine Daily Inquirer Via Thomson Dialog NewsEdge

2006-12-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

An online article about my Lola's Sister..Tiya Beke
I got this from http://www.tmcnet.com/usubmit/-smile-as-memorable-as-historic-pal-flight-/2006/07/30/1752796.htm if you wish to view the article for yourself...

We have pictures and newspaper clippings dating back to the 1940s regarding her...And I'm so proud of my heritage...VERZOSAs, JARINAs, SANTOSes, DIONISIOs RULE!!

[July 30, 2006]
A smile as memorable as historic PAL flight

(Philippine Daily Inquirer Via Thomson Dialog NewsEdge) ANY STORY ABOUT THE HIStory of Philippine civil aviation would not be complete without the memory of her smile.

Rebecca Versoza was the only Filipino and lone flight attendant on the first flight of Philippine Airlines (PAL) across the Pacific 60 years ago today.

As the flight attendant of that historic DC-4 journey, Versoza thus became a pioneer in what has become one of the most popular, in-demand and well-paying jobs today.

Yet, nothing much is known about Versoza, except for the scant details the airline managed to put together through the years.

One of the few mementos PAL has of Versoza is a black and white picture showing her wearing an attendants cap, a collared white blouse, and a brilliant smile captured on camera for eternity.

That smile might have been one of the things that inspired a PAL slogan years later exhorting travelers to Come fly the friendly skies.

On that July 31, 1946, flight were four other crew membersall Americans, including the two pilots.

Finding Versoza, or at least her close relatives, for the 60th anniversary of PALs first crossing of the Pacific to the United States was an unfulfilled, aching wish of the people who organized the celebration this year.

For them, the anniversary of the first flight of a local airline to the United States would have been an excellent chance to give due recognition to Verzosa and her service to PAL.

Moreover, an account from Versoza of her experience as a pioneering Filipino flight attendant would have been a remarkable addition to the history not only of PAL but of local civil aviation as well.

Verzosa would be around 85 years old today.

At that age, she would have a lot of stories to tell, said Jonathan Gesmundo, editor of PALs corporate magazine, PALiner.

Gesmundo himself seems to be a walking repository of historical data and trivia about PAL and Philippine civil aviation history, what with his wealth of knowledge gained from research he has done at the Filipinas Heritage Library, the National Library and the UST Library, among other libraries.

But to Gesmundo, Verzosa has become an elusive subject.

The most recent information we got, and this was a few years ago, was that she was supposedly living in the US, Gesmundo told the Inquirer.

Homesick passengers

PAL chartered its first flight to the United States from a company called Trans Ocean, after a dock strike in the US West Coast prevented US ships from sailing to the Philippines to pick up homesick American soldiers.

There were not enough US planes and ships then to transport the Americans back home.

The flight was an ordeal for the crew that included Versoza, and for the passengers consisting of some 40 American soldiers eager to go home with the end of World War II.

The DC-4, a surplus military aircraft, was not known for comfort. Passengers sat on what were called bucket seatsno armrests and no backrests.

5-foot-tall beauty

According to PAL, the plane could make just over 200 miles per hour at cruising speed, was unpressurized, and could not fly much higher than 10,000 feet.

Verzosa, believed to be just 5 feet tall, not only made sure her passengers were comfortable during the flight, she also cooked meals when meal times came en route.

She also had to keep the lavatory clean, not a pleasant task when the passengers became airsick, PAL said in its media release.

At that time, airsick bags were unheard of, Gesmundo said.

But hadnt the US soldiers flown helicopters and planes during the war?

41-hour flight

Yes, they did. But not for 41 hours with just four stopovers, Gesmundo said.

Verzosa was also on the flight that returned to Manila, but this time, thankfully, there were no passengers on board.

Laughing, Gesmundo said that if he ever met Verzosa, he would not hesitate to ask her some naughty questions, like: Did any pilots court you?

Its common those days, you know, Gesmundo quipped.

Time of reconstruction

If anything, Versoza proved that being a flight attendant could be a career at a time when the main concern in the Philippines was the reconstruction after the war, Gesmundo said.

It was July 1946, the new republic has just been established and granted independence by the Americans. It was an era of reconstruction. Literally, rebuilding their homes and their businesses was on top of their minds, Gesmundo said.

Being a flight attendant was an American influence, he added.

At that time, then PAL owner Andres Soriano, who was a Spaniard who became an American citizen, would scout around for flight attendants.

Soriano or some American pilots would see a mestiza and ask her if she would be interested to become a flight attendant. It wasnt for them to apply, Gesmundo said.
Prize in a beauty pageant

Soon, becoming a flight attendant became prestigious. So much so that, Gesmundo said, he discovered in one of his research that one postwar beauty pageant offered for its second prize becoming a trainee for cabin attendant for PAL.

First prize was a PAL ticket to any domestic destination, and third prize was getting any job in the airline.

Verzosa spent some 10 years as a flight attendant, eventually becoming manager in charge of cabin crew training.

She also spent more than 10 years doing office work at PAL, Gesmundo said.

She showed the way

Verzosa showed that being a flight attendant was not just being a glorified or a glamorous helper on an airplane.

Flight attendants are hurt when they hear that nasty tag, Gesmundo said.

He said being a flight attendant was also not only about charm and grace.

As Verzosa showed on that 41-hour flight 60 years ago, it is a lot about grit, hard work and selflessness.

NO MORE LATE And ABSENCES for me..

2006-11-16T22:21:00.000-08:00

Once again, I live-up to the name of being a "late-comer"...

I just learned from my INTRODUCTION TO PRINT MEDIA professor, Mr. Mariano, that I have only 1 absence allowed for the remaining classes... I already acquired 4 1/2 absences and the maximum allowable absences for that class is 5 1/2... !!!

Argh, that means waking up at 7am--doing stuffs--reading, eating and such..
at 8:30am - already taking a bath
at 9:30am - go to school...

coz its better to be too early than to be late...(that's only for INPRINT, though)..

=============================
I also enrolled yesterday, well, Tina enrolled me... because since I can't afford to be absent in INPRINT, I asked a favor from her to enroll me (since she already enrolled the day before--darn those LIA-COM! hehehe :) ). I only enrolled in 4 subjects, meaning, only 12 units! WHY? do you ask...? Well, since I'm currently taking FOTOCAM (Basic Photography) this term and not INTRORE (INTRODUCTION TO RESEARCH), automatically, the next major subject I'd be taking is VIDPROD (Video Production), which is by the way--like one of the hardest major subjects in the history of Communication Arts Subjects in DLSU-Manila...

And right now, I'm shaking like hell!!!!!! worried, that I might be a year-delayed from my supposed-to-be graduation which is exactly April of next year.... because of these "HELL" subjects....

So, I gotta go now, I'm again,,, late for my INBROAD (introduction to Broadcasting) CLASS....

TICKLE TEST RESULTS...

2006-11-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

Kukai, YOUR song is Another One Bites the Dust

Sure, it's catchy and has a great beat, but this tune's also got bite. We're not saying you're not a smooth mover, but anyone who knows you will attest to your spunky side. After all, you aren't shy about going after what you want or speaking your mind. How else are you going to beat the competition?

When it comes to a night out, you bring the party with you wherever you go. A risk taker, you're not afraid to stir things up and be the first one on the dance floor or last one to leave. It's clear you're standing on your own two feet, and you're ready for whatever comes your way. Rock on! (www.tickle.com)

That, is true considering that I usually am the first one on the dance floor--inciting people to join me... But, a risk taker? That, I don't know... argh..

Kukai, Taking the Scenic Route makes your mouth water

You know what they say — life's a journey, not a destination. That's something you take to heart. Laidback and low-key, you like to take your time and savor each moment. If that means taking the long way to get somewhere, you'll do it, especially if it's packed with plenty of things to see along the way.

You appreciate the simple things in life — from sunsets to skylines to starry nights. You enjoy taking a moment to breathe in all that the world has to offer, even if you have to go a little out of your way to do it. So pack up the car and get ready to hit the road!

I am simple... I believe I am... I usually walk along the PhilAm park on the way home if I have time, and sometimes sit on the bench to think and appreciate the beauty of nature... (sheesh!! Is this me talking!?!?!?! I sound so sensitive!!!). Unfortunately, nowadays, I don't have time for it, since my classes end at around 6pm.. and travel-time usually takes about at least one hour, so when I arrive at the PhilAm park, its already closed,not to mention, dark...

Kukai, a Change of Scenery will upgrade your style

Whether you're headed across the globe or somewhere closer to home, a change of scenery is just what the doctor ordered. For an adventurer like you, a new setting is sure to give you a breath of fresh air.

It doesn't take a dramatic departure to freshen your perspective. Even just a stroll through a new neighborhood or dinner at a different restaurant can inspire you. Let your sense of adventure lead the way, and you'll probably find yourself somewhere out of the ordinary. So get out there and start exploring the possibilities. A change will do you good!

*Sigh* a good scenery... I would like to see one, but right now, unfortunately, there is no good scenery to be seen... all's a mess!!!everything I see right now, keeps giving me stress... stress..stress. and stress... that stupid majors!!

LONDON LONDON LONDON MAKES MY BRIDGE FALL DOWN...

2006-10-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

I still have the SURVIVOR SERIES FEVER... even after a week...

I saw BATISTA wearing only a towel... LOL!!!

Paul London called me "pretty" (and I believe him! LOL!)... and he is dreamy up-close...

Jimmy Wang Yang is really cute... and he approached the fans without any hesitation whatsoever. He also answered the questions I asked him while he was signing magazines, and banners and taking pictures. I also found out that he's half-Korean. so, Anyong Haseo!

I made Referee Charles (the one with the blonde hair--the one who got tombstone by The DEADMAN) laugh. I told him that I'm going to be the first femal referee and that to be one is an ambition of mine (shallow huh?!). And he asked why, I answered, "because you get to touch the wrestlers' body.." hahaha... LOL

I saw Idol Stevens and got an autograph

I saw Bobby Lashley but unfortunately he only saw my hand, waving!... the security were so strict that they wouldn't allow "FANS" or the-wrestlers'-future-spouses to see their superstars...

I also saw Michelle McCool (boohoo to the male fans, coz there wasn't any DIVA's MATCH...) Fortunately for me though, I got to see BATISTA wearing only a towel... *sigh*dreamin' again*...

OH did I mention Paul London called me "pretty"... ?! yes he did.. and as if once wasn't enough to melt me with joy, he repeated it!! wahaha... and he winked and winked and the handshake that was supposed to be "business-ly-like" (as I've learned the day before in my ORIENT2 class), had a "piga" and "pisil" and again with the wink... wahaha LOL...

i'm really blushing!!... HE IS SOOOO down-to-earth... and kind.. and cool... and he answered all questions given to him by "ME"... and he graciously signed all magazines, took pictures with the fans and again, called me "pretty"...

*sigh* I was just so dumb-founded after he had called me that, that I forgot to ask for his e-mail, fanmail address, or even his number (as if he'll give it right? But as I say, there's no harm in trying!)...

LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON LONDON PAUL LONDON PAUL LONDON PAULLONDON LONDON LONDON
PAUL LONDON PAUL LONDON PAUL LONDON PAUL LONDON PAUL LONDON PAUL LONDONPAUL LONDONPAUL LONDONPAUL LONDONPAUL LONDONPAUL LONDON

INSPIRED

2006-10-10T02:33:00.000-07:00

Somebody made my day today!!!!

I just feel like posting this today... And I'm in good mood whatsoever!!! hahaha... somebody made my day today... Early in the morning...
A message i saw
On my cellphone
Is something I've been waiting for...

Somebody made my day today
How inspiring, how true...
Clearing all my pain away
I know I wouldn't be blue...

waaah... I'm just so happy... pero di ako in-love like they say... I'm just pretty darn HAPPY!!!

And a guy, gave me a testimonial
I won't name who
A song over my head (cable car)
One fave song of mine too!

ARGH.. I WON'T CONTINUE NA... basta I hope its something peace-offering of some sort or something... we're adults na please bati na tayo!... wahaha

I'm just sooooooo happy... I should txt him back... kasi me mali dun sa tinext nia eh..

Ironically speaking,

2006-10-07T21:42:00.000-07:00

First of all, I know it has been months since I last post something here...

I know, I know... a lot has happened--meeting the last person I thought I would see in person--my favorite wrestler, Mr. David Michael Bautista... haay.. seeing him in person in his grand stature, is already a big deal for me, what more meeting him and talking to him and him taling back!... "Will you spell that out for me?", "I promise." I know those are just sentences that are nonsense.. but come on, imagine yourself meeting the one person you really want to see--an idol you thought you can only see on T.V. on posters, in magazines, wouldn't you be so happy?! overwhelmed?! starstrucked even?! I know I did... And just to see him, I went to SM Mall Of Asia, without even buying an P800 worth of pizza just to get in. I asked Kuya Diether Ocampo to give the wooden bracelet to Batista, and he did! Thanks Kuya Diether!!... Though that first day of seeing him, I didn't get anything signed, I was still overjoyed with what I saw--my hero! my future husband.. hehe:) a Greek God with a Filipino face. On the second day, I won a meet and greet, but I need to have a ticket with me so I first bought myself a P950 ticket on 22. Then after, Solar Ent. gave us--the winners- offical WWE autograph mats on which we could ask BATISTA for a dedication or anything we would want him to write.. I could not explain the aghast feeling I felt when it was my turn to meet him! Basta, my memory's good it will be stored there forever--oh and I got a kiss from him... hahahahaha wahahahaha... If meeting him is a big deal, what more talking to him... and what more again, getting a kiss from my FAVORITE WRESTLER OF ALL TIME-- even before I knew he is a Filipino...!!?

Last night, was the celebration of my birthday... my 18th birthday..
the Venue was in Rainbow Village, J's Nature Garden owned by Tito Danny Jongco. I never expected it to be so grand-tables, chairs with covers--green and pink. Disco Balls, Lights, sounds.. it was all so perfect...
But the thing that made me so happy was Jester coming to my celebration--no malice please! It is because, with so much happenings in our history as classmates and friends, he is the last person I thought I'd see in my party! And ironically, he was one of the first guests who arrived... He kept on texting me what to wear, if this and that was ok--things like that--but seriously, I never took it seriously, until I saw their van and him, who I thought was his brother--Jared--driving with Sir Billy, Sopmac and Diana at the back. It was truly a gift... Others who I expected to be coming because of their confirmation did not come, but this guy, at the last minute went there without any hesitation, escaped from the hands of his-again-girlfriend-from-hell who I wouldn't name. It really was a truly comedic night because of the sipon, the not-polished program, the cakes, the dancing part and all of it.. esp. when he came...

I'm just so thankful to everyone!! You came just to be there, even though it was and is still finals week. F.E.U. People--Jes, Rozet, Yne, Joy who came even tho she's grounded, Perps people--Khat, Berto, Sopmac, Diana, Southvillan--Babs, Rex, SJDD peeps-- Papa Tugie and Reyjey--even though it came to you as a surprise, PLM--eka and karen, DLSU-D--BESHIE NORRIE, YFCs--Khel and Lloyd (hehe Herbert!),my Dionisio angkan--Joan, Lance,Aiko, Aivy, Osang, Ate Baby, Tita Ime... and others who took part in my celebration...

Nicole, thank you pa rin for trying to come... I know what happened and I understand..

BASTA THANK YOU@ may gifts o wala.. salamat

2006-08-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

Your Vampire Name Is...

Athene of Evil

What's Your Vampire Name?

I alveys vonder vot vill my nem vi ven i vecom e vampire...

But then I always wonder what will my name be if i'm a hawaiian...

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Kamea Alohilani

What's your Hawaiian Name?

nang dahil lang sa sabog-sabog na practice

2006-08-15T01:56:00.000-07:00

Sorry for taking so long...

Alam kong hindi ako nakapag-post ng ilang linggo, dahil wala namang masayang nangyari sa buhay ko... normal lang... tipong araw-araw na gawain...although, marami akong gustong i-post...

Pero ngayon, aaaah ewan... mejo na-bad trip lang ako... Masaya naman nung pagpasok ko kaninang umaga... in fact, kahit na may sakit ako, i'm in a good mood...

After my last class, ENGLTRI... dapat ii-email ko na si Ate Sitti (yes, si Sitti ng "Para Sa Akin" and proud to say "schoolmate" ko siya dati!), gagawin yung ENGLTRI self critique, magreresearch ng mga articles needed for Philper so i can start reading and reviewing for my FINALS...because I have to study for INTRECO on Saturday til Monday; pero since me practice for LITERA1 (the play)... hindi ko ito nagawa... at ngayon ko pa lang ito ginagawa... argh... nde naman sa sobrang demanding ng direktor ng play--dahil kailangan sobrang "perfect" talaga ang outcome nung magiging dula--pero medyo nasosobrahan na ata kami sa practice... kahit na sabihin na "kulang" pa rin... I mean, we all know naman all that we have to do e.. and hindi naman namin siya inaalisan and/or iniiwanan, it's just that marami lang naman talaga kaming gagawin... HINDI LANG NAMAN LITERA1 ANG SUBJECT NAMIN NOH? Marami rin kaming subjects at siguro hindi nila priority ung litera1, dahil may failing subjects sila na dapat nilang habulin (I'm speaking "in-behalf-of" dito!)... Tsaka it's not that we don't want to practice, we just have so many things to do!!... And to think, may sakit pa ko, Las Pinas pa bahay ko (meaning to say almost 2 hours ang biyahe during 5-6 ng gabi kasi RUSH HOUR!); kamusta na lang naman ako diba...?

I think kasi (and its free to say all this things here, 'coz its my blog for cryin' out loud!!!) hindi na-aapreciate ung EFFORT na ibinibigay ng bawat members nung ACT 2... I've been giving suggestions, but it seems NOBODY LISTENS! come on people!!! And I think din, hindi naman kailangang hasang-hasa ung every scene eh... Dapat lang alam na nila ung mga gagawin, para isang pasada tapos na.. hindi during rehearsals/practice tsaka lang hinahasa yan... OMG!! it's a waste of time... e kung isang pasada lang ng isang pasada... by then, nakapag-practice na lahat, walang maiiwan sa set o aalis, kumpleto pa ung members at nakapagpractice... hello? pwede naman kasing hasa-in ung isang scene pag tapos na mismo ng isang round ng PRACTICE kasama lahat ng members...

That way, no one will be left behind and time's not wasted... hindi ung every scene pag may mali, ulet...

As i've said time is wasted...

Me as a stunt woman...

2006-07-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

I've often thought about the "extreme" things I did during my highschool life and even before that...

And I just realized that all those "extreme" things I did, were just accidents!!--clumsiness, or plain katangahan...

Just imagine, me at three years of age, muntik nang mahulog sa sapa...

It was all vivid to me, but what I remember was, I was with my niece (who's older by me by a year btw), JOAN on the terrace of their house, playing with crap scattered on the floor...I don't remember what happened next, the next thing I could remember is that I was holding on to the edge of the wall(the terrace is still not finished by then) of the terrace because if not... I'll fall into the sapa, literally....

Oh and nabalian na rin pala ako ng buto...

This I remember clearly, I was in Grade three and I was playing with my classmates Patintero. I was one of the "it"'s and when I was trying to tag this classmate--his name is Zachraeus or something like that--I tripped and fell... I remember my classmates shouting "AYAWAN NA!" "ayawan na!" leaving me with my aching arm or wrist. I did not cry, fyi! Then came the kundoktor of my bus to fetch me... He massaging my arm and rotating my wrist because I was umiiling sa sakit...When I came home, I told my mom what happened and she used the triangular bandage on my arm so that I can't move it and then we went to the hospital in Paranaque, OLIVAREZ... Had an x-ray and waited for the result... After three days, we went back and we were informed I had a closed fracture. The doctor told us that my right arm needs to be "casted" with cement and so my arm was cemented... I had that cast for 2 months...

In highschool, I had done extreme stunts that were "LIFE-THREATENING" by accident and just pure "katangahan"...

The C.A.T. in my highschool back then was much more fun than it was right now... Well, for one, we had trips to NAVRESCOM (Naval Reserve Command) where we assemble and disassemble rifles, of which I was really good at! (if i do say so myself!); and two, the "faculty" in our school weren't that tight and strict unlike now. One of those activities was the "RAPELLING"...

and letting go of the rope, will cause you your life...

FYI, I really have a bad case of the fear of heights..
So, when it was my turn to rapel from the fourth floor of our building down to the basement, it was okey after going down from the fourth floor, but then came the 3rd floor and I panicked! As I reached that floor I stopped there, LET GO OF THE ROPE and just started untying the ropes of the harness or the "diaper" as we call it. I didn't realize that people were also starting to panick and worry just when I did that, until they told me. I was just so afraid and nalulula when I got to that "sitting position"... sheeesh... Kuya Jojo --one of those assistants of Sir Cazcarro (our C.A.T. commandant, who was really cool by the way)--told Sir Cazcarro "Sir, Confidence na lang xa!! Delikado sir, trauma!"...Sir Cazcarro was the belayer when I had that embarrassing "confidence".

I was the only one in the whole school who did that!!! sheeeeesh!! sobrang kakahiya!!! And to think AMBER COY ako--meaning to say, MODEL CADETTE!!

Oh and imagine me, LUMILIPAD KASAMA MOTOR!! hehe

It was the day after our JS PROM. What do you do after going to the PROM? Of course, drink and be happy! hahaha.. After prom, marj, eka and me all went to 7-eleven to meet the guys and buy RED HORSE... after that, we went straight to marj's place in BF and drank... we had shots of RED HORSE! and I had four to five shots of beer... BUT the shotglass weren't shot glasses at all! The shotglass we used is a MUG! not a beer mug but a coffee mug... And we all went to sleep at around 5 to 6:30 in the morning... So imagine us being WASTED.. and i mean really wasted!!

My mom came to fetch me at around 8am and I wasn't expecting them to come... So I just went with them and slept in the house til noon. At about 2 pm, I pleaded my dad so that I can go practice with the motor-scooter...and he agreed. What happened next was, argh, I sorta' forgot but all I remember was me and the scooter flying because I drove over the gutter...(stupid gutter!)..Just like nothing happened, I stood up holding my right arm, with blood on my left eye and walk towards home... hehe...

My mom was furius with my Dad for letting me drive the scooter knowing that I was still hung-over from that early morning!... My mom asked me if I still can see because there's blood in my eye... and I told her I can.. with both eyes..!hehe... After that, they left me resting, lying on the couch... But then, I was "naiihi" and I stood up, walked a little and "PLAKDA!"... I went unconscious...hindi naman ako naihi..buti na lang!

I was strained or sprained? whatever basta napilayan... And to think INTRAMURALS was coming up! I was a player of volleyball, and despite their "kontra" for me not to play because of "injury", I still begged ROZET to include me in the game, even as the first one to serve...first service that is.

So that's me as a stunt woman... doing extreme stunts accidentally because of "katangahan"!

NOTICE...FILDLAR posts...

2006-07-14T02:29:00.000-07:00

Natapos na ang mga naiatas na ilagay sa blog para sa kursong FILDLAR...

ang aking mga artikulong naisulat sa blog ay:
1) Pinagpasapasahang Responsabilidad (June 26, Monday)- matatagpuan sa Archives ng June 2006
2) Mahal, Kaya Mo Pa Ba? (June 26, Monday)- matatagpuan sa Archives ng June 2006
3) Philippines, a free country? (July 14, Friday)-matatagpuan sa mismong pahina ng blog at sa Archives ng July 2006

Napag-alamang ako'y nakatapos na sa mga inatas na gawain para sa aking portfolio...

siyet! hirap ng diretsong tagalog...!!! xp

how old am i? tell me, tell me!!!

2006-07-14T01:07:00.001-07:00

Got this from Niko Batallones in the bulletin board... And I really wanna know how old do I act... many say, that I am childish... And I agree with them... But to be really specific, I do want to know!!!

How old do you act?
Put an x on all the things youcan do and find out how old you act!!:)

[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] I can do my own laundry
[x] I can cook for myself
[ ] I do my chores after being told once
[ ] I always do my homework/work
[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations
[x] I think politics are exciting
[x] My parents and grand-parents have better things to say than my peers
total: 6

[ ] I show up for school/work every day unless I'msick.
[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse
[x] I've never gotten a ticket
[x] I watch talk shows and point out theincredibility of it all
[x] I know what incredibility means without looking it up
[x] I drink black coffee
total: 5

[x] I know how to run the dish washer..and/or do the dishes
[x] I can count in more than one language
[ ] When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.
[ ] I mow the lawn
[ ] I can wash my car
[x] I can make adults laugh..without being stupid
[ ] I remember to water my plants
[x] I study when I have to
[x] I pay attention at school/work
[x] I remember to feed my pets.
[ ] I'm generally organized
[x] I know the meaning of capital punishment
total:7

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up
[x] I clean up my own messes
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get coffee
[ ] I can go to the store with out gettingsomething I don't need
[ ] I understand jokes the first time they aresaid (except if its corny)
[x] I listen to my elders
[x] I understand the fact that the world always screws someone over
[x] I can type fast, because I type every day
total: 5

[ ] My choice in clothing is acceptable in an office or something like that
[x] I can watch politics and laugh
[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[x] I can look at someone hot and not think of sex
[x] I have realized that no one will take youseriously unless you are over the age of 25 andhave a job
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it..
[ ] People have said that I act older than I am
[ ] I can be sent on an errand and not get sidetracked
total: 5

What the fuck?!?! 28 years old... This survey is full crap and bullshit!! I really think it is how old you THINK?!?!?! WHOEVER INVENTED THIS SURVEY SHIT, is really STUPID...

Philippines, a free country? (FILDLAR#3)

2006-07-14T01:07:00.000-07:00

"Philippines is a free country"...

I don't know what to say with that statement..... Blah, Blah...
If you're an idealist probably you'll say, Yes it is a free country...But if you're a realist, you'll say, "the hell with it!"

I'm no realist but I have to agree with them REALISTS... Our country, the PHILIPPINES is not a free country!

Why?

We should remember that FREEDOM is a relative term. Yes, we are free to choose our government officials, Yes we are free to choose whatever religion we have, and all other stuffs...
But again, we should ask ourselves, "are we really free?"

Again, freedom is a relative word and is not limited to the things we are free to choose or whatsoever..

What is freedom anyway?

For me, freedom, in a general way, is free from control of others... And if you look at it, although the Spanish and Japanese invaders were already gone, and although we have our "independence day", we are still slaves and followers of the AMERICANS... We are still shadowed by their likes and dislikes, their interests....

How?

Take for example, our sports--the number one sport in the United States is basketball. And what is it here, duh? it's basketball!!! And although we have our own "national sport" which is the sipa, we consider basketball as our national sport...by prioritizing it than any other sports we can play--football or soccer, baseball, sipa, muay thai, arnis.. or wahtever sport we have.

Another example is the game shows and reality shows that we have... There is the upcoming "Philippine Idol"--like Who Will Be the Next Philippine Idol?, Yet the show will be startingon July 28 or 29 (screw the dates!). Pinoy Big Brother, Deal or No Deal, The Price is Right... and other shows or series that we just filipinized (as we say)..

And the most mportant example is the language we use... We're the only ASIAn country who speaks normal English! Many take it as a compliment because as we know, English is the universal language! While few take it as an insult to our culutre... Maybe I'm a hypocrite because I am currently writing this post in the English language. Maybe I am. Not only because of this, but because of the "american" shows that I am watching.

I am not against the AMREICANS... I've accepted the fact that they are born MANIPULATORS. What I'm against at is how we patronize them, how we are accepting the fact that we are pushovers after what our heroes have fought for.

WHAT A PITY OF HOW WE BECOME?! We are still playing-it-blind with what the Americans have to offer, and yet we do know what their intention is for us. We do not even have our own identity!!!--THE ONLY ASIAN ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY...

Think about it.

Is Philippines, a free country?

Regarding my brickhouse in the middle of nowhere...

2006-07-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

UU na at hindi nio nakikita...

click nio na lang ung site...

http://drawahouse.com/houses/show.asp?houseID=381240&houseHash=7b71139b2d1eb24f214e3dbd096e9508

that's my house... find me...

According to the test...

Based on the drawing and the 10 answers they gave this is a summary of their personality:

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

==========================================
My Reaction:
wushuuuu... totoo ba yan... heheheeh... Basta I'm still proud to say that my house is one of those beautiful houses posted there... haha... you don't believe it... GO AND JUDGE...

chooz-days and tarz-days are bummer

2006-07-06T02:45:00.000-07:00

[URL=http://drawahouse.com/houses/show.asp?houseID=381240&houseHash=7b71139b2d1eb24f214e3dbd096e9508]
[IMG]http://drawahouse.com/houses/2006/7/6/381240_t.gif[/IMG]
Click here to view my house[/URL]

argh... I really hate CHOOz-days and TaRz-days... Aside from the fact that I wake up early... I hate my subjects--classes that day...

I hate INTRECO
I hate PHILPER
I hate ENGLTRI

it seems as if I only go to school for BIOARTS... bcuz I really like my BIOARTS class... and just to have an attendance for those three classes mentioned--or just not to miss any important lectures...

ARGH... I really want to go home early during tuesdays...

kaantaok

kainip

kainis

kabadtrip

ah ewan... basta I hate tuesdays and thursdays...

I went to www.drawahouse.com and drew a house--a colorful house, a beautiful house if i do say so myself!!!

basta tingnan nio na lang jan... hahahahahahahaha

I'm an artiste...

2006-07-03T01:41:00.000-07:00

You fit in with:
Musician / Artist

You fit into the musician/artist stereotype. You're pretty popular, but you're popular because of who you are - you don't necessarily play by the rules, but that could be what makes you so damn good.

'What highschool stereotype do you fit in with?' at QuizGalaxy.com

my Troublemaker!

2006-07-03T01:37:00.000-07:00

You're an Entertaining Mischief-Maker

What Kind of Troublemaker Are You?

Brought to you by Tickle

The vanishings...

2006-07-03T01:14:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading "Left Behind: The Vanishings" by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye last night. I'd rather not go into details and be a "spoiler", but the story of this novel is quite scary and creepy--not like horror-creepy, more like a something-you-wouldn't-want-to-happen creepy...

Urgh,.. Just from the title itself, one could already imagine what important event happened--duh? (vanishings?!) ... It just talks of possibilities of what could happen in the future... if Revelation is true or something like that...

And I have to admit, I liked the book.. And I will be reading the sequels... after I finish reading MY BROTHER, MY EXECUTIONER by F. Sionil Jose...which is required in our LITERA1...

Pwede Ba by Soapdish

2006-07-03T00:56:00.000-07:00

I was just testing this video thingie on this blogsite of mine... to see if it works... And I think it does... I really like this video.. well, the song actually...

my rating

2006-06-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.6
Mind:	6.2
Body:	6.8
Spirit:	9.2
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	3.8
Finance:	5.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Apparently, that's my life... a very spiritual person... ... what the heck... its just for some entertainment in my life... haha *sarcasm*

tawagin mo kong kaibigan

2006-06-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

Sa isang saglit lamang

Maaari mo bang kalimutang mahal kita?

Pwede ba?!

Isang maikling saglit lang ang aking hinihinging pabor...

Maari bang kalimutan mo nang lahat ang aking mga sinabi tungkol sa aking nararamdaman para sayo?

Masyadong nagiging komplikado eh...

Hayaan mo naman sana ako maging kaibigan mo... isang malapit na kaibigan... kung hindi mo kayang ibalik ang pagmamahal ko sayo...

Pwede ba?
---------------------------------------------------------

Buhay nga naman o... napakahirap... lalo na pag nagmamahal... Kaasar kasi... Alam ko namang wala akong pag-asa... as in totally wala... PERO eto't umaasa---nagpapakabaliw, nagpapakahilo na balang araw e makita niya ako na andito lang palagi--palagi para sa kanya---BILANG KAIBIGAN! Malay ba natin diba? Sa future, who knows, if the one he'll end up with is me... naks... pero as of now... I know that I am still nothing to him...

Although sabi niya--"...Hindi ka basura...kaibigan kita... Naappreciate ko lahat ng mga nagagawa mo para sakin..".. Diba? pero as the saying goes, "action speaks louder than words".. hindi ko nafeefeel ung pagiging kaibigan ko sa kanya... Oo nga't ako ang lumalayo dahil naiilang ako... pero ako na rin mismo nakakaramdam na ILANG siya sakin... magkailangan na nga!! BAHALA NA SA FUTURE!!

Pero kung kakalimutan niya lang iyon ng isang sandali...At ako, na kahit papano'y nakaka-move-on na sa aking buhay.. at totally na tanggap na wala na siya talaga...(though, There's still the slightest, very little hope in the future!!)am willing to be a FRIEND... some bestfriend...!!

sana lang...:(

Mahal, kaya mo pa ba? (FILDLAR#2)

2006-06-26T01:16:00.000-07:00

Sisimulan ko ang aking blog entry na ito sa isang liriko ng kanta...

Para Sa Masa
ito ay para sa mga masa
sa lahat ng nawalan ng pag-asa
sa lahat ng ng aming nakasama
sa lahat ng hirap at pagdurusa
naaalala nito pa ba
binigyan namin kayo ng ligaya?

ilang taon na ring lumipas
mga kulay ng mundo ay kumupas
marami na rin ang mga pagbabago
di maiiwasan pagkat tayo ay tao lamang
mapapatawad mo ba ako
kung hindi ko sinunod ang gusto mo

la la la la la la la la. . . . .
.

pinilit kong iahon ka
ngunit ayaw mo namang umama

ito ay para sa mga masa
sa lahat ng binaon ng sistema
sa lahat ng aming nakabarkada
sa lahat ng mahilig sa labsong at drama
sa lahat ng di marunong bumasa
sa lahat ng may problema sa skwela
sa lahat ng fans ni sharon cuneta
sa lahat ng may problema sa pera

sa lahat ng masahuwag mong hayaang ganito
bigyan ang sarili ng respeto

Bakit ko nga ba ito na-ipost? Mababaw at Sensitibo man kung ako'y inyong huhusgahan...napaiyak ako ng kantang ito nang una ko itong marinig sa radyo... Bakit? aba, ewan basta tungkol sa ating bansa--sa mga problemang kinahaharap nito ngayon, sa mga hirap na dinaranas niya, at sa kung ano pang mga hagupit na kanyang natatanggap--nasasaktan ako para sa kanya...

Araw-araw napakarami niyang kinakaharap na problema! Na minsa'y naiisip ko kung siya'y buhay lamang, ay marahil pagod na pagod na siya sa araw-araw na walang pagbabago. Hindi ko kaya nang magsalita, o magsulat, kung kaya't sa tula ko na lang idinaan ang aking mga hinanakit, saloobin tungkol sa ideyang iyan...

Mahal, kaya mo pa ba?

Mga paratang na ibinintang sa iyo,
Mga parusang iginawad sa iyo,
Mahal, kaya mo pa ba?

Mga hirap na iyong dinanas,
Pinilit kong humanap ng lunas,
Mahal, kaya mo pa ba?

Mahirap na kalagayan,
Iyong naranasan,
Mahal, kaya mo pa ba?

Iiyak mo na lamang
Kung wala ng paraan
O aking Mahal, kaya mo pa ba?

Pilit kitang inililigtas
Ngunit para sa kanila'y wala raw ito sa landas
Ako'y nag-iisa lamang
At wala pang kapangyarihan
Patawarin mo ako, mahal kong Pilipinas,
Kung ika'y hindi ko mailigtas....

Pinagpasapasahang Responsabilidad (FILDLAR#1)

2006-06-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

"Ang Kabataan ang pag-asa ng Bayan", ayon sa ating pambansang bayaning si Dr. Jose Rizal. Sino nga bang hindi pa nakakarinig ng mga katagang iyon? Malamang tayong lahat. Musmos pa lamang tayo, iminulat na sa atin ang mga katagang iyan--mapa sa eskwelahan, sa telebisyon, sa pahayagan at mismo sa ating mga magulang at kaanak. Maraming sumasang-ayon sa pahayag ni Rizal na yan, ngunit sa ilang panahon at henerasyon na ang nakalipas, aakma pa ba sa atin ang pahayag na iyan?

Aba! Ewan ko na lang ha.. Kailan pa ba sinabi ni Rizal ang mga pahayag na iyon? Aba! Eh hindi ba't sobrang tagal na?! Hindi ko na nga maalala ang eksaktong petsa eh, at pusta ko, hindi rin matandaan ng ating mga magulang o mga lolo't lola. Basta, alam nilang ang nagsabi noon si Rizal.

Nakakairita nga lang isipin na sa sobrang tagal na ng sinabi ni Rizal, wala paring tunay na nakakaintindi nito. Ewan ko sa inyo, pero hindi ba kayo nagtataka na sa tagal nang patay si Rizal eh buhay pa ang mga ninuno natin (alam na nila ang mga katagang ito), ni hindi man lamang sila kumilos at maging "totoong" PAG-ASA ng bayan. Sa aking palagay kasi, lolo't lola ko at lolo't lola mo eh mga teenagers pa noong mga panahong iyon, o kahit pa siguro lolo ng lolo ng lolo ko... Ah ewan.. Tila kasi pinalipas lamang nila ang oras ng kanilang kabataan gayung alam naman nilang "SILA" ang pag-asa ng bayan! Tila walang katapusang pinapasa lamang nila ang kanilang "responsibilidad" sa mga susunod na henerasyon sa kanila. TAMA ba o TAMA? Kayo na bahalang sumagot, sinabi ko lamang ang aking punto...

Wala na kasing kumikilos eh, lahat ay tipong ipinapasa ang naturang "responsibilidad" sa mga anak ng anak ng anak.... sa susunod na henerasyon, gayung mga naging KABATAAN din naman sila.. at hindi rin nila ito nagampanan...

Wala paring tunay na nakakaintindi at isinasakatuparan ang mga pahayag ng ating pambansang bayani. Kailan pa nga ba magkakaroon ng pag-asa ang ating bayan kung ilang henerasyon na ang nakalipas at lalu pang lumalala ang sitwasyon ng ating bansa?!

Who's this girl?

2006-06-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

I have a question for you guys...

Who is this girl calling on her fone and holding a plastic bag?

....

Comment me on this one!!!

haha..

Frequently Asked Questions

2006-06-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

As a toddler, I wondered so many things.
I asked so many questions--like "bakit may lumalabas na hangin sa tabo pag nilulubog mo sa timba?" or "bakit parang invisible ung daliri ko pag tinapat ko ito sa isa kong mata?"...

Yes, objective questions, of which I gradually learned how to answer...

But now, as I grow older and become deep...
I often ask myself "why some people are just plain numb?!" or "why is there a need to lie?" or "Why do some people just don't get 'IT'?!"

or

"Paano mo tutulungan ang isang taong, ayaw naman tulungan ang sarili niya?"

Yes, just like the saying, "Paano mo hahanapin ang taong ayaw naman magpahanap sayo?"... But it just strucked my mind i don't know just three days ago or maybe two thinking about my "serious", "matter-of-life-and-death" situation.

Pano kung isang miyembro ng pamilya niyo e onti na lang ang nalalabing panahon sa mundo? (Believe me, it's really hard for me to write this, but I gotta let it out somehow...) Tapos ung taong iyon, imbes na gumawa ng paraan upang gumaling, e tila tinatanggap na lang ang problemang dumating--meaning, walang ginagawa...?

I mean, I've been praying so hard... really, really hard... I go to the chapel once I arrive in school just to pray... and sometimes, I wonder, "will God answer my prayers, if that person isn't doing anything?"... I know its bad to doubt God...but I'm not doubting--I'm wondering...Because I know that what God wants for us is to be happy and taking that very special person from me will of course make me "miserable" I know....

Please, pray for my Dad...I just love him soooo much....

beneath the surface.

2006-06-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

Deep thoughts rummaged in my head...
The What ifs?
The What will happen next?
The How will it affect me?

crap... it affects me darn so much right now that I cry almost everyday..

But do I cry that much?

Who knows?

I don't even know...

All I know is that this shitty life I'm living right now, i wish, was all a dream... But heck, I'm a down-to-reality kind of person and i really am feeling LOW.. dammet! yes that LOW!!!..

beneath the surface even!!

As of now, I'm officially dead!!!

This whole thing--this,this problem--should I even call it a problem?! What the #*(%j, well, whatever it is, it is pure bull!!!

i know i don't deserve this... we all don't deserve this kind of shit!! And to think that I've been helping others find their way, I can't even help myself to face this whatever the heck it is called..!!!

I just wish that all of "it"--and I mean all of "it" are just some crazy test GOD wants us to take... And I'm sure that whatever test it is, I'm sure that we'll pass that and that GOD won't take someone or something very important and special to me... and my family!

CLUEs:...

2006-06-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

to sino na ang aking crush!!!...

S W I T Z E R L A N D!!!
mine...

wala yan pa lang ung naiisip kong clue... pag binigay ko na ung iba, kilala niyo na eh... tsaka hmm... basta once you get the logic of my clues---ul know who he is na....

I'm Coming.... Yuchee!

2006-06-05T22:26:00.000-07:00

My first time was great!!

what an exhilirating experience!!

the adrenaline!!

What does this add up to?:
1. instant 3 in 1 coffee bought at the Miguel Canteen.
2. Chicken Tenders with French Dressing bought at the SPS Canteen for LUNCH and DINNER.
3. red iced tea (tastes like apple iced tea..)
4. and mentos???

the answer is obvious--those first two are already a bad combination for the TUMMY!! oh mah GOD!!.. I bought number 1 during my class in BIOARTS and just hid it from my PROF.--miss Go. then we had an hour break or so... automatically, the panimal's feet brought us to SPS canteen where we all--except ariane--bought chicken tenders with french dressing and red iced tea...

mah goodness! during PHILPER--which is just a while ago... my tummy began to rumble!! tsktsktsk... I was sweating and fidgeting and #$!@%#!! just when I couldn't take it anymore, I went out straight to YUCHENGCO BUILDING!! where the comfort rooms have vdei?! whatever the spelling is!! and let all my frustrations free!! I released them.. well, not all... but whew!! was the first time great!!

what an exhilirating experience!! the adrenaline!!

Even with the pain and the rush of blood thru my veins... (ano toh kanta?!)

it's really worth it.!!

3 C's : Childish, Cute, Crush

2006-05-31T04:49:00.000-07:00

Childish, Cute, Crush....

How do you relate all three....

hmmm.. *thinking*connecting*...

Last May 27 up to May 28 was the Kids For Christ (Kids Camp) where the "we", the YFC people are in charge!! haha... The theme for Kids Camp has always been "military" and unfortunately for me, I didn't know that until that fateful day...So, the required clothing for the whole first day was "drill C" (white shirt and jeans and rubber shoes!) I was wearing a mini skirt and I wasn't able to bring any pants! (except for jogging pants--my pantulog) because I was wearing all my pants to school and "naubusan nako ng pantalon!"... hehe fortunately for me I was wearing my white shirt so I kinda blend-in to the crowd...(that's my special talent--blending-in! hehe ask the party animals and the other YFC members for that)... Then again, I wasn't the only "pasaway" in the YFC... hehe... Khel also was pasaway--with the "black" shirt and the "capri' maong pants... haha I was so happy I'm not alone!!!...

Call time was 5:30am in front of MIP church... and I already came at about 6 and still, no YOUTH was in sight!! after some minutes, JUNIUS (Garfield--our mascot in the youth camp) arrived and soon after came Karen, Ro-anne, Bern, Lloyd, Anna, Ian, Ejhai and the other Chapter A's I didn't mention!... Take note, I was the only "B" until Khel came at about past 7... tsk tsk... talk about chapter Head!! *sarcastic*!

Venue was some Resort in Tanauan, Batangas... and Darn it... Seeing the venue--the pools rather, made me wanna go jump in the pool...BUT of course I didn't.. I assist the children on what they're going to do... and also "bantayan" my makulit na bro... There were activities for the kids (I didn't expect this!)--games like the obstacle where a lot has happened--crying children, "nahubaran", stuck in the wheel... argh... we also had nga pala, PLATOONS 1-4.. Lloyd, Dosia and I were in charge of Platoon 1... and we didn't win 1st in all games... argh si LLOYD kasi!!! in my platoon was my brother--KARLO... and Jang- Geum hehe...

So, back to my question... How do you relate Childish, Cute and Crush?

Well, during that Kids Camp, I was really childish... hehe hanging out with those children without of course forgetting my responsibility... and CUTE... we were all CUTE! naks.. hehe no.. children playing games, singing songs, cooperating and following us--their colonels, generals, and radio people... haha!!! and the CRUSH?! meron nakong crush sa YFC...basta bait, gwafu, approachable, and loves god.. !! nyek, eh lahat ata dun feeling gwafu.. pero approachable naman at mahal si GOD.. basta bahala na lang sila/kayo manghula kung sino dun... I won't say anything about him--his CHAPTER, kung gano na katagal or what... isa itong handsome young lad.. wahaha

i must.. i must... I must lose the FATS!!

2006-05-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

First week of my being a sophomore at De La Salle University... whew! whataweek!?!?!?!
Well, first, I want to congratulate myself for not being a "FROSH" anymore who goes around the campus with the whole block!! haha I now roam around the school alone or with a friend or two...

Meeting my classmates (btw, paolo valenciano--son of Gary v. is my classmate in BIOARTS!!) and my professors was very nerve-racking!!! But as I saw my "kakilalas" and the "blockmates" the fear of staying alone in a class was GONE...

I really wonder how the ANOREXICS survive not eating all day... I mean, they must have eaten something or anything in order for them to have energy... takte, just 2 days ago, I haven't been eating anything for the whole day--no breakfast, no lunch, no dinner, no merienda--not even brunch... I just drank water and chew some gum/candy/lollipop... and I really felt kinda wuzzy... even just as now--as I'm typing I'm feeling kinda dizzy and wuzzy and sick! argh... But demmet, I really love the feeling of "gutom"... when you're stomach's growling asking for food and all... STUPID, I know, but I really don't want to eat because once I eat, I'll start growing "BIG" agen...and I don't wanna be "BIG" on my "BIG" day...(debut)

I have so many assignments and I have to watch a play later for LITERA1 and study my TALK for the KIDS CAMP tomorrow which will be held in BATANGAS... and I'll be handling the makukulit na kids including my ever-annoooying brother!!!grabe ewan ko, parang sobrang pagod na ako, and to think, it's only the 1st week...

xet, xet, sobra na ito...!!!

siguro kakain ako, pero onti lang... maybe a sandwich or skyflakes... or magic flakes, or blu skies... la na talaga ako energy eh..

tas every time I go home pa, I walk...PERO xempre nde namn from LASALLE... goodluck na lang kung ganon noh.. para na siguro akong pulubi or gusgusin by the time I get home... I get off the bus at STARMALL, and from Starmall I walk to BF-Philam Gate, then i ride a trike on the way home... haaay may 1 kilometer din iyon noh.. exercise ko na iyon sa buong linggo...GOOD LUCK NA LANG SAKIN!!.. haha nde pala ko makakapaglakad later, coz I'll be home mga 9-ish... dahil dun sa stage play "SHADOWS OF THE REEF"... kasam ko naman si Caresse at Loui, kaya okei lang.. whehehe

sana mapagpatuloy ko ang "losing weight" na ito!

LIST OF SONGS

2006-05-18T03:44:00.000-07:00

eto ang isang kantang walang kamatayang kinakanta doon sa YOUTH CAMP...

Now That You're Near

Refrain:
Hold me in your arms
Never let me go
I want to spend eternity with You

I. I stand before you, Lord
And give You all my praise
Your love is all I need
Jesus, You're all I need

II. My Life belongs to you
You gave Your life for me
Your grace is all I need
Jesus, You're all I need

Refrain
Chorus:
And now that You're near
Everything is different
Everything's so different, Lord
I know I'm not the same
My life you've changed
I want to be with You
I want to be with YOU

(Repeat I, II Refrain, Chorus 2x)

Bridge:
And I will sing for You always
Cause in Your presence God is where I
want to stay...

(Refrain and Chrous 2x)

---------------------------------------------

Of all the YFC songs or songs that we sing during YFC meetings and Youth Camp... This one's my favorite... It just pierce right through your mind and your heart...What we've all done wrong and yet He still loves as just as we are...

I Give My All

1. Bless my life, take away
the shame
Allow me to experience your
most amazing grace
Fill my heart, it's empty
and frail
Make me whole again Lord,
mend my broken soul

Refrain:
I offer my life to you
Lord
With all my strength I
worship you

Chorus:
And I give my all (take me
as I am)
I am yours oh God (lead me
to your arms)
And I give you praise ( I
rejoice in You)
'till the end of my days I
give my all...

2. You gave your all unworthy
as I am
You have died for me Lord
and now I am free
You're the only reason why
my heart leaps for joy
I give you back the
glory
Lord mold me and use
me...

Chorus 2x...

------------------------------------

By Your Side

1. Oh dear God we ask for your
favor
Come and sweep through thsi place
Oh we desire You
I just want to be with you
Be where you are
Dwell in your presence oh God
Oh I want to walk with you

Chorus:
And I will climb this mountain
And I'll step off the shore
And I have chosen to follow
To be by your side Forevermore...

2. Tell me what you want me to do Lord
God
Tell me what you want for my life
It's yours oh God it's yours.
Do your will have your way be Lord God in
this place
Oh I want your will to be done....

wehh... di nga?!

2006-05-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

youth camp namin diba nung 13 to 14...? and fortunately for me pumunta dun yung bes ko at si buchick aka. AWHIE... well, i'm so proud to say that she finally received GOD fully.... ewan ko sa dami na ng mga ginawang kalokohan noon at kagaguhan sa buhay sana by this time, she'll be fully committed to GOD... and some distance from her overly-possessive BOYFRIEND--ERIk...

sobrang saya nung youth camp... kakainggit kasi nung youth camp ko last year, hindi naman kami close ng mga service team and others, pero this youth camp, pwamis, nabago ko ata ang daloy ng youth camp... well, at least diba? mas happy and close talaga...

well, well, well,.... watcanisay to MON, JONG, RAQUEL, AVIC, CAMILLE, ATE RINA JOY, ATE MEAGAN, cnu pa ba? LIZA, LA1 and 2 hehe... basta lahat ng service team, may makalimutan man ako... SALAMAT.... xmpre, kakalimutan ko pa ba sina Tito at tita... tito tony and tita penny salamat!!, tito gilbert and tita rose salamat, xempre sa buong familia ni JONG... hehe yaman kasi...

Retainers, Polaris and YOUTH CAMP...

2006-05-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

RETAINERS

Finally, pagkatapos ng mahabang lakbayin buwan-buwan pumunta lang ng dentista, hindi na ko babalik pa kailan man... well, siguro pag onting adjustments sa retainers or whatsoever...!!! I dunno what date, but last week, me and my dad, just commuted (note: sayang sa diesel, kung van ung gagamitin!!!) from Laspinas to Mandaluyong... take note, BUS RIDE... isang bus ride, kung saan pag ka haba-haba ng traffic!!! umalis kami mga 10am dumating kame sa Mandaluyong (SHAW!) ng 12:30! takteng traffic talaga yan...so since we arrived past lunchtime, naglunch muna kami ni daddy ko... then straight to the dental clinic! EH natiyempuhang WALA DON SI DOKTORA!! SHET man!! kaya punta muna kami dun sa may nagbebenta ng multicab!... then, balik na ke doktora... and poof!

WALA NA KONG BRACES!!

tapos non, sinukatan na ko ulet para sa retainers ko... and kinabukasan ng hapon, ko iyon makukuha..and so we returned! and got my retainers....

yehey! nde na namamaga ung mga gums ko!! yehey la ng pasakit sa buhay!! ay mali!!! meron pa!! akalain niyong mas masakit ang retainers kesa sa braces!!

POLARIS

sarap mag-drive!! lalu na pag aircon!.. nagstart na ko mag-aral ng aking driving-driving nung may 8 pa... and gez wat?!

what?!

Vios ang ginagamit ko sa pagddrive ko!!... My dad just enrolled me in a 5-day course so that means, my lesson ended today... AND I SHOULD TELL YOU GUYS!! marunong na ko magdrive!!!! wahoo.. kanina I drove from URCI (Polaris Driving School), then to BF TIMES, to MOONWALK, to CAVITE...and DAANG-hari, then Alabang, BF Almanza, Pilar, and back to MOonwalk, BF-Casimiro and finally stopped at URCI...

thanks to Mang Butch for teaching me, kahit na namamatay ung makina sa daan....hihi :)

YOUTH CAMP!!!

SOUTH C-10-B will be having a YOUTH CAMP tomorrow at some school in CAVITE! and hey! I'm a facilitator there!!
I invited my niece, BUCHICK and marj to join... and they said yes..!! haha... ang saya... sana lang madagdagan pa ang mga participants... and of course maging successful eto.. sus, sa daming meeting na ginawa namin noh, wish ko lang---wish ko lang talaga, successful toh...

and with God's guidance and blessing, I know it will!!

and sana talaga, mabago ng youthcamp na ito ang mga participants na nag-iba ng daan papalayo kay papa GOD.bagkus, ay mapalapit pa ito ng lalu sa kanya...i'm pertaining to BUCHICK...

biofuel... damn i'm famous na!!

2006-05-03T02:01:00.000-07:00

I have an exciting yet pressuring weeks ahead of me! Actually, this week's already stressful!! Arghh... Yesterday, I went to a *meeting* for our upcoming YOUTH CAMP on May 13 and 14 (everybody who's willing to join, just contact me and I'll give further details!!!)! haha And I already have 1 participant! am still gonna pressure my cousin, Ate Baby to convince Buchick and/or Aivy for joining the youth camp... I mean, hell, it's a LIFE-CHANGING course.... oh and heck... I don't have anything to talk about pa!! xet naman o...sharer pa naman ako... ... argh..

Takte.. bukas, nagbago lahat ng plano... na-quota kasi ako kanina sa LTO, kaya pinapabalik ako bukas ng 12:15 sa driving school... hmmm e dapat pupunta ko ng dentista.. tapos non, punta na kina ariane... argh... dami dami dami... argh.. mamomove na naman ang appointment ko sa dentista..e kelangan na tong tanggalin... demmet!! xitmen!!.. hahaha

wahoo... ung article ko makikita na sa univ. of maryland.. wateber school sa us.. ahahaha... I'm sikat na as eber!! wahaha..

2006-04-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

la lang.. trip ko lang ilagay... mahal ko kasi eh... so sad nga lang, me mahal nga lang iba....
*cry*weep*go insane*cry...

gwafu nia noh?!

oo sobra... bait pa nia...

kung pwede lang niya ko mahalin, dun niya lang malalaman kung gaano ko parin siya kamahal...

*tsktsktsk*... luvusomuch u just don't know howmuch...!!

ON THE TWENTIETH...
I saw your face on the twentieth
And knew you're the one I'll never forget
You've been the one I've dreamed about
You and me together above the clouds...
You made my dreams come true (somehow)
The signs proved it was really you!
But slowly you are running away
With someone whom I dare not say
You broke my heart, still, on the twentieth
And what happened, I thought I'll never accept
Time passes by, the pain's "quite" gone,
But there's something I ought to tell,
Now that I'm moving on...
I accepted it now,
I learned to let go
But I want you to know
I still Love you so...

summer blues...or frustrations..

2006-04-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

argh.. takte.. matatapos na ang summer di pa ko handa...

handa sa mga dapat paghandaan tulad ng aking DEBUT.. Yes, magdedebut ako.. I finally changed my mind about not having a debut.. Eh in the first place, kaya ayaw ko magdebut noon kasi ayoko ng pormal ung tipong gowns-gowns, tas mga naka-tie ung mga kaklase tas puro ako nakaupo sa isang magarbong upuan--nag-iisa, walang kausap, walang kasama... aba, ewan yoko talaga ng ganon... si marj xa me gusto pero ako... "I DOn'T Think so...!!".. ang "BOOOORRRRIIINGG!!"...

yoko lang kasi ng ganon.. parang ganon na lang palagi... corny para sakin... kaya nag-isip ako ng mga themes... yoko ng luau... marami nang ganon, yoko ng medieval--katulad ng sa debut ni Nadine Samonte--ang baduy... sobrang boring non... parang andun ka sa kastilyo... lalalala.. wateber... nagsasayaw sa mga fiddler na mukang ewan...

Pero ang napili kong theme ay 80's!! ung bang panahon nila Aga Muhlack, William Martinez, Herbert Bautista.. BAGETS, Madonna, Boy George, The Cure, DuranDuran, Bananarama... panahong uso ang chuck teylor, ang fishnets, leggings, foot loose, crimped hair, ribbons, baston, atbp..

Actually, una kong napili ang 20's kaya lang natatakot ako sa mga taong baka hindi na sila pumunta dahil wala silang mapiling kasuotan.. mga tanga.. oo.. ganon ung mga dati kong kaklase eh.. mga namomroblema e kaya namang iresolba... tsktsktsk.. Kaya eto mas pinili ko na lang itong 1980's kasi atleast, kahit papano, may clue sila kung ano ang susuotin...

ako, akin na ung damit ni MADONNA at CYNDI LAUPER!! hahahahah... motif ko nga pla pink and black... CYNDI LAUPER na CYNDI LAUPER eh.. wahahahah...

tas cotillion ko? THRILLER ni Michael Jackson ung isasayaw... ahahahah ang saya oh diba ang exciting?! Tas ung set-up nung venue garden na maraming christmas lights, may disco ball sa gitna, at may parang strobe lights.. para mas masaya pag sayawan na..!! wahaha ang saya...!!!

Yun nga lang ala pa kong venue.. eh un ung pinakaimportanteng parte ng debut ko!! tsaka ung video coverage? ewan bahala na un.. venue muna!! tsaka damit!! para makapagpagawa na bago pa ang pasukan..

shet shet shet... takteng pressure neto.. magaaral pa ko ng driving sa may 8... hahah excited lang.. tagal ko na gusto matuto eh.. kaya lang di binibigyan ng pagkakataon... kasi sa mga extreme na nangyari sakin.. whahaha...

Pinagpapasahang Responsabilidad

2006-04-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

"Ang Kabataan ang pag-asa ng Bayan", ayon sa ating pambansang bayaning si Dr. Jose Rizal. Sino nga bang hindi pa nakakarinig ng mga katagang iyon? Malamang tayong lahat. Musmos pa lamang tayo, iminulat na sa atin ang mga katagang iyan--mapa sa eskwelahan, sa telebisyon, sa pahayagan at mismo sa ating mga magulang at kaanak. Maraming sumasang-ayon sa pahayag ni Rizal na yan, ngunit sa ilang panahon at henerasyon na ang nakalipas, aakma pa ba sa atin ang pahayag na iyan?

Aba! Ewan ko na lang ha.. Kailan pa ba sinabi ni Rizal ang mga pahayag na iyon? Aba! Eh hindi ba't sobrang tagal na?! Hindi ko na nga maalala ang eksaktong petsa eh, at pusta ko, hindi rin matandaan ng ating mga magulang o mga lolo't lola. Basta, alam nilang ang nagsabi noon si Rizal.

Nakakairita nga lang isipin na sa sobrang tagal na ng sinabi ni Rizal, wala paring tunay na nakakaintindi nito. Ewan ko sa inyo, pero hindi ba kayo nagtataka na sa tagal nang patay si Rizal eh buhay pa ang mga ninuno natin (alam na nila ang mga katagang ito), ni hindi man lamang sila kumilos at maging "totoong" PAG-ASA ng bayan. Sa aking palagay kasi, lolo't lola ko at lolo't lola mo eh mga teenagers pa noong mga panahong iyon, o kahit pa siguro lolo ng lolo ng lolo ko... Ah ewan.. Tila kasi pinalipas lamang nila ang oras ng kanilang kabataan gayung alam naman nilang "SILA" ang pag-asa ng bayan! Tila walang katapusang pinapasa lamang nila ang kanilang "responsibilidad" sa mga susunod na henerasyon sa kanila. TAMA ba o TAMA? Kayo na bahalang sumagot, sinabi ko lamang ang aking punto...

Wala na kasing kumikilos eh, lahat ay tipong ipinapasa ang naturang "responsibilidad" sa mga anak ng anak ng anak.... sa susunod na henerasyon, gayung mga naging KABATAAN din naman sila.. at hindi rin nila ito nagampanan...

Wala paring tunay na nakakaintindi at isinasakatuparan ang mga pahayag ng ating pambansang bayani. Kailan pa nga ba magkakaroon ng pag-asa ang ating bayan kung ilang henerasyon na ang nakalipas at lalu pang lumalala ang sitwasyon ng ating bansa?!

SLiDe and SPLASH!

2006-04-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

This post is super delayed.... again...

My "TROPA" including myself! and Carelle, Khat, Edgar, Rex and Dann went to SPLASH ISLAND last APRIL 7... I know, I know, This is super-delayed... I just want to post the picture I made as a GIFT for emkhey's 18th birthday...(SPLASH ISLAND and FOOD was their blow-out)

--->APRIL 6
I met Marj at GYMX for my supposed-to-be first day of work-out... BUT UNFORTUNATELY for me, "Kuya Tong"--the gym instructor--wasn't there.. and so I WAS SUPER BAD TRIP... Later that day... Marj and I decided to hit SM SouthMall to make the birthday card for emkhey... We went NET-SURFING, looking for pictures of miss piggy and mk, and cropping and copying and pasting using the PAINT program...(THERE"S NO PHOTOSHOP available...)... Next, we went inside National Bookstore and find some Cartolina we could use for the card... After that, straight to Marj's Pad to make the BIRTHDAY CARD that would make EMKHEY's MOUTH "WOOOOOOAAAAAAAh,....." and "LANG'ya kayo!!! Tangina niyo.. ghehehe THANK YOU!!!..."

-->APRIL 7
Woke-up early. We were supposed to meet in 7-eleven Casimiro at exactly 7:30 and I was out of the house at that time.. I THOUGHT I WAS SOOO LATE.... But then, as I arrived, I only saw Khat, Marj and Edgar... I brought the card and showed it to Edgar and Khat and Marj (again)... and they were with awe... hahaha... Nothing much happened after,, there were waiting and waitign and waiting... then MK arrived... I didn't show yet the card, but I showed her the card I made for eckah with The poem I wrote whole-heartedly in it. ONly, then, I showed her the card... hahahahahahaha The picture blew her away... hahaahah THE SMILE ON HER FACE WAS PRICELESS..... ahhahahahhaah*laughs*laughs*

This was the picture...
blew her away...hahahaha... I couldn't resist to post this... This is way too good...!!! It's just the face of mk--its color's not even with the picture... aaaargh, that's why photoshop is so darn important!!!!

2006-04-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

okay.. so here's how it went last Saturday...

I called emkhey at 9am.. and I was told that she was still fast asleep... haaayy emkhey!!
Emkhey called me back at 10:30 saying how she was sorry for not waking up and meeting me at my pad at exactly 10am.. how she was so angry at the alarm clock for not ringing... "OKAY, OKAY, I GET IT!! ENOUGH WITH THE EXCUSES... what can I expect? IT IS STILL YOU!!! and the excuses... and I miss that! haha" THOUGHT TO MYSELF: kakamiss talaga ito nung highschool days.. na hintayan kami.. haha...
emkhey arrived at my pad at about 12:30, or so.. whatever... and then WE ate lunch (pashy-shy pa tong si emkhey eh.. di naman effective!!) and I did the dishes, then it's off to ZAPOTE for the roses....
2pm.. we took off... 2:30 we arrived at Zapote.. and after arriving, we went straight to the FLOWER SHOP... and I tried to haggle the price and got it at 170pesos for two dozens of BLUE-DYED roses.. ooohh.. and i also owe emkhey 15pesos for the roses... nyaknyaknyaknyak!! ate "Liezel" (that was her name) told us that we have to wait at least for an hour for the roses to be blue...
so at 2:45, we went to SM and bought mArj a card... and also,,,, help emkhey find some "clothing.." for her celebration the next day...3:30 and we're still in SM... and I was convincing MK to hurry up coz we gotta get goin!!! or else WE WILL BE LATE...
after 10 minutes I finally convinced her...WAHOO... I was really in a hurry that time cuz, the 4-francis boys were already texting me, what will they be wearing? and where exactly will we meet?!! and yet i'm not dressed and the roses are still in ZAPOTE waiting to be purchased and waaaaaahhh.. STRESS...
we arrived 15minutes past 4 in the afternoon in Zapote and so many things happened there--the roses were still white except that there are blue spots in the petals... and for the roses to be BLUE the roses still need to be dipped in they BLUE dye!!! and we still have to buy a small pitcher for us to bring/carry the roses.... AND THE SEARCH FOR THE AFFORDABLE PITCHER STARTS NOW!!! since the flower shop is located near the public market, we searched all kinds of stores and general merchandise shops for a very affordable pitcher.. and YES!@ last! we found one.. I haggled and I haggled until the price for the pitcher went down form a 45 to a 30!! YES!! we told ourselves
Back at the flower shop, ate "liesel", put the dipped-in-blue-dye roses into the pitcher for us to carry...whew!! And then, we went home,...at my pad..
we arrived at past 5pm and to think I was meeting the boys in 7 eleven at 5:30... tsktsktsk... Letze... naman talaga.. BILIS*BILIS* Argh.. Late na ko... aus dito, aus jan.. take a bath, then fix the hair, fix the roses, fix the gift, contact the boys, dress-up do the make-up.............. aaaa.ajfaiuraiorua8uioaui*(#%^Q%$$)@#(!
I met with the boys in 7eleven at 6:30 and they were furius I tell you but not until i showed them the roses.. and they were AMAZED!!! (AMAZING, I thought to myself!!)... waahaha I also forgot to cut the stem of the roses, so I went inside and cut it all by myself... (AMAZING, I thought to myself*with sarcasm!!*)... Then gave the boys each a rose to give to marj...

The party that night seemed so hyper.. as I was the emcee for the 18 roses and darn it! was I so HYPER!! ... all in all.. it was a tiring day yet a happy night... for all of us.... Once that videoke microphone was free, it was time for me to sing.. hahahahahawahahaha...

hate post..letter whatever you call this..

2006-03-28T23:51:00.000-08:00

Letter of Regret.

I know you've had feelings for me. I know that you liked me. I know that you know we could have had something special...

But you were'nt true to your feelings and so I grew tired of waiting for you. For a year or so, I kept on waiting for something to be said and acted out, but nothing happened. And so, I grew tired of waiting for you. I know there was something inside you, telling you that I "could" be the one, but you weren't so sure of your feelings. ANd so, you shoved me away, afraid of what you'd feel for me. And, that hurt by the way--but I didn't cry. I did not cry at all. I guess, I've been so hurt before that I became immune to crying.

Anyway, I had a feeling of what you felt for me. I got a sense of what your feelings were for me, it was just that you were in constant denial. You weren't honest to yourself, so to speak. You act as though you were really interested in me, but when it was my turn to show my interest to you, you shoved me away. I don't understand you. You kept telling me you have a girlfriend---shoving me away... But you kept on texting me, sending me messages that tell you care for me and love me... That, made it more confusing...

Do you know how hard it was to wait for someone who's almost always unsure and is always in constant denial?

Do you know how hard it was to be left alone, after waiting and hoping for something to happen only to realize it was disaster in the end?

I hope you would understand me, for once, how I felt. It was hurt. You brought me pain. I thought, "Ah, maybe this is the one!", but then you left me hanging on to nothing--falling in love and crashing. It was not just the enraged hormones that made me write a hate post in my blog and mention your name and lambast you ---which I'm really sorry for-- but Those really were genuine feelings of hurt by a person, who I thought wouldn't hurt me (as far as I knew); and that person was you.

This, I gotta tell you... After writing that hate post--it was kind of a breath of fresh air... All those emotions of anger and the feeling of pain sort of went away. You could say, it was a relief. And at that moment, I knew I did the right thing. But part of me, said that it might hurt you--then I remembered all the things you did to me. The latter ruled the first one out. Anyway, now I'm really sorry for all that. I had to delete it and change it to this...

You know, somehow I wish you couldn't sleep at night because you are thinking of me.

Sometimes, I wish you're miserable for all the guilt you have in hurting me.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't too forward with you (although, I really don't think I'm too forward at all), so you'd just ignore me for all that I was.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't gave you those poems as it made me seem so desperate and that would make you care for me just because you pity me. I don't need pity at all... I need honesty.

These, I wish and think about at times, since I've been thinking and dreaming about the what-could-have-beens, if only you were honest.

In fact I remember the day you said you'd care for me; and the day we had the same favorite song. I was surprised that time since that same old song was the one I sang for the person who brought me so much pain. I did not expect it that the person who'll sing that to me, will eventually hurt me as well.

That day you said that you'd take care of me, seemed to be the wish I made come true--getting over the guy who I have loved after all years. But, I guess it couldn't and wouldn't be since you were so stuck-up and was more concerned concealing and denying your feelings for me. kamil lyon tolentino..

I still wish that those feelings would stay the same, even after all these years. I also wish that you are honest.

"Well, I've been thinking about you day and night. And I don't know if this
will work out right. But somehow, I think that it just might... If we try."

But then, you didn't.

You left me waiting and hoping for something I thought I'd achieve. You
walked away scared of what might be, leaving me alone, dreaming of you and
me...

-->You'll always be my baby.

roses and a pig

2006-03-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

i have this feeling that everybody except me will be surprised on April 1 and a few days after.. hahaha I don't know but I have this devilish grin on my face all through the day!! hehehe 3:)

Because, I am the only one who knows about everything!! hehehe!!! And it's very nerve-wracking for me to keep this from everyone!!! THAT'S WHY.... i'LL just post it all right here.,. my plans for the upcoming debuts of my dearest friends--emkhey and marj!!

First of all, one of my bestfriends, Marj, doesn't know that she'll be getting a rose each from the boys (that was my plan!). Marj's plan was not to tell the everybody that there will be 18 roses and a dance, so that the boys will be surprised when they hear their name called for a dance..(and guess what! I'm the emcee! hehehe). And the boys which I already contacted and had a deal with, still doesn't know about marj's plan!! All they know was that marj--not having her 18 roses--will be surprised!! hehe!! And to think, this all happened accidentally when marj suddenly decided that she'll be having her dances with her 18 roses, and yet she first told me that she'll only be having her 18 candles .. and I already had that deal with the boys!!.. wahaha, not until last night did I realized that I am the only one who knows about everything...

Everything...including my plan for emkhey.. EmkheY only knows about my deal with the boys for marj's birthday because since the roses are expensive, I need someone to share the expenses with--and emkhey is that "someone"! She doesn't know Marj's plan with the 18 roses so she cannot buzz-out any information except "my deal" with the 18 roses. She also doesn't know that while we (mk and me) are planning this 18 roses for marj, we (marj and me) are also planning something really "PIGGY" for her 18th birthday!!

all I can say is....

sUrPriSe!!! sUrPriSe!!!

...and all the while they thought they will be the one who'll be surprising the others!!

how manipulative can I be!!!?

haaaayyy.. juskupo!!!

2006-03-27T00:46:00.000-08:00

waaahhh... ako'y sobrang kinakabahan!! iimbitahan ko si NIC david sa debut ni marj.. grabe.. dignidad ko na naman mawawala rito!!! pero okey lang.. para ke marj naman toh eh.. xge lang.. whew!! kabog*kabog*kabog..

grabe.. naguguluhan na ko ke marj.. sabi nia nung una ala xa 18 roses.. pero ngeon, meron na.. ah basta meron o wala, eto na lang gift ko sa kanya.. haaay.. kinakabahan na talaga ko... itutuloy ko nga pa ba?? dignidad ko mawawala talaga eh..haaayy..

isa pang malaking kababuyan na problema.. birthday na ni babs sa weds!!.. nakunamanghirap neto!! balak ko sana cake na customized na me baboy pero muka nia ilalagay..hehe para complimentary diba.. joke.. 18th bertday nia na rin kasi.. si clarence din ung sunod sa birthday nia eh.. well, 17 pa lang naman un kaya madali na un!! nakanang!! seryoso talaga ko..

juskupo!! haaayy para sa tropa.. xge...

TYPE A KA KASI!!!

2006-03-21T01:24:00.000-08:00

FYI: ang TYPE A na madalas sabihin ng mga tao ay ang mga tipo ng taong madaling ma-stress! o kaya maxadong hyper o panicky pag naeencounter ang STRESS...

TYPE B ang kabaligtaran...

Anyway, sobrang STRESSED na talaga koh.. unang-una sa lahat, ang dami kong gagawin.. Knowing na WRITTEN TEST sa Taekwondo bukas, at d ko pa gets lahat ng mga forms!! Meron pang DEADLINE ng mga kailangan sa PORTFOLIO ng SCRAPBOOK para sa FILIPI1 bukas din.. haaaaayyy.. eh, hindi ko pa nagagawa ang INTRODUCTION ng aming OUTLINE, at ung sa BATAS.,..

MARY,,, UNG SA BATAS!! kailangan ko na ngayon!! gagawin ko na bukas..

grabe.. speaking of stress, gusto ko na sanang bumalik ng P L A R I D E L kapag napalitan na si current EIC (editor-in-chief) na si Ruby Simundac, ngayong papalitan na nga xa, mas malala pa ang pumalit sa kanya!!! SI GEMMIE CHOA?! whatever.. ung naka-away ni ATE JOYA at ako, dahil sa kuha-ng kuha ng recorder ng may recorder.. LETZE xa.. muntik ng hindi ma-publish ung article ko nun..!!! Kaya nde ko na lang alam kung babalik pa ko.. baka GMG na lang...scriptwriting u know..and things like that..

ewan.. magmamajors pa man din..e balita ko puros kahirapan pag nagmamajors na.. AI BAHALA NA!!!

LETZENG STRESS KASI ITO!!!

kUmAiN ka nA nMaN nG sALiTa..tsktsktsk..

2006-03-21T01:08:00.000-08:00

hay naku.. ung tuluyang pag-iwas sa grupong iyon?!?!?!

Ngayon? nde na nangyayari.. pero ang paglili-lo sa kanila, tama..@ least kahit papano nakaramdam cla na basta.. well, if i know.. binabasa naman nila toh eh.. so need not say or bring up that issue anymore..

basta lang ba, mabibigyan nila ko ng espasyo, every now and then... tulad nga ng nabanggit ko, ganoon talaga akong tao... AT TULAD NA NAMAN NG SABI NI MARJ... "kumain ka na naman ng salita..marcia".. hehehe.. mishu na talaga mga tropapeeps..

ewan ko ba.. mejo nakakaguilty, dahil alam ko nmang hindi silang lahat ang tinutukoy ko eh.. Pero dahil nga grupo iyon, parang nacoconsider as one na.. Basta tamaan na lang kung sino tamaan sa mga sinabi ko.. Alam niyo naman kung sino kayong mga tinukoy ko noon eh..

Salamat na rin kahit papano nakokonsider niyo parin ako bilang isang kaibigan...

JUST FOR FUN!!

2006-03-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

Napagtripan ko lang patulan itong "chain mail na ito.." hehehe.. nakakatuwa kasi

Kahit alam mong niloloko at inuuto mo ang sarili mo, papatulan mo pa rin.. Kasi naman,,, alam mo namang gusto mo ung mangyari, kahit sa panaginip lamang iyon...

Isa kasi itong "LOVE STORY".. well, magtatanong ung site ng kung anu-ano--tulad ng pangalan ng opposite sex, adjective, noun at kung anu-ano pa.. hehe.. At mula doon sa mga sinagot mo, magkakaroon ka na ng sarili mong LOVE STORY..

Well, here goes my "LOVE STORY"
(and yes, it includes JESTER --na naman if you must say..)

Love Story

One comfy summer day at Salzburg, Austria you see the most angelic creature you have ever seen. Their name is Jester , and every move he makes just turns you on more and more. You nudge your best friend Marj and say, "Wow, that has to be the most sexiest body I have ever seen." Suddenly,he looks in your direction and starts
walking right towards you!!! he says, "I noticed you staring at me from over there. I just had to tell you, that I think you are so nice , and was wondering if you'd like to go to Paris with me and hang-out ?" With a stupid smile on your face you say, "Whatever you say " and go with them. When you finally get to Paris , he moves closer to you, and gives you the biggest kiss ever. The two of you are passionately
kissing, when you feel a diary hit you on the back of the head. You open your eyes to find out it's all a dream, but there is a note left next to your bed. It reads: "Jester is the love you've been waiting your whole life for. he will ask you out in 7 days or less, but only if you send this e-mail to at least 10 people within the next few minutes. The more people you send it to, the sooner they will ask you out, and you both fall in
love. Do not take this lightly, because if you simply ignore this, you will have
bad luck in love for the next 7 years!"

wala lang hehe kakatawa kasi.. eh.. kahit alam kong ilang adjectives at nouns ung mga tinype ko bago ko makuha ang PERFECT LOVE STORY KO.. hehe kahit wrong grammar pa yan.. basta naloko ko okei na yan!!!

BASURA ka lang...

2006-03-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

Ewan ko... pero parang ata lumala ang pagtrato nila sakin..o baka nagiging hysterical lang ako dahil alam kong sobra na sila...Ay, bahala na... Ewan ko, alam kong alam naman nilang binabasa nila toh eh, pero siguro hindi iyon sapat para makuha ung respeto nila sakin... BASTUSAN na kasi ung nangyayari... Parang ngang basura lang ako kung i-trato nila... HARSH kung HARSH, pero ilagay niyo nga ang sarili niyo sa posisyon ko?! ung tipong, nagsasalita ka, bigla kang babarahin (and to think, ako lang ang ginaganyan nila!!), nagsasalita ka, walang nakikinig, tatanungin ka tapos eto ka't sasagot ng maayos, babarahin ka pa rin, kakausapin mo ng maayos, ayun at nakabusangot ang muka sa pagsagot--parang nagalit at nagtatanong ka pa... eh samantalang kinakamusta mo lang naman... Sige, nga, ano mararamdaman niyo? eh diba PUTANG-INA lang naman?!?!?!

Ewan!! KAINIS kasi eh.. parang ang baba ng tingin nila sakin.. para bang, napaka-bobo kong tao!! Katulad na lang kahapon, magsasalita sana ko, bigla akong binara--puros mali raw ung sinasabi ko..."wag un, wag un!! basta walang ganon!!"... sasabihin joke,, pero kitang-kita mo naman sa bahid ng muka na halatang sinasadyang manabla.. PINIGIL KO na nga lang ung pagkapikon eh.. kasi usually ayoko ng binabara ko! ako ang nambabara.. pero ngayon, baligtad na ata mundo..

Me tanong lang ako sa inyo?

MASAMA ba kong tao?
Oo na masamang manlait!! PERO SOBRANG MASAMA na ba ko?!?! May nasaktan na ba kong mga tao? as in ung sobrang nakaapekto sa pagkatao niya? kaya ako ginaganito?! Sa palagay ko naman wala eh.. alam ko naman ung mga limitations ko sa mga ganun... Kasi ngayon, parang nde na nila ko kinoconsider as a PERSON.. bilang tao! ayun nga sinabi ko nga diba? parang BASURA na lang kung itrato ako.. RESPETO lang bilang isang tao ung hinihingi ko, pero instead na iyon, BASTUSAN pa ang nangyayari... well, ala na ko magagawa coz i'm just some TRASH!!!

Alam niyo bang hindi naman ako ginaganito noon eh.. Dati kahit papano, bilib pa ko sa sarili ko! na kaya kong gawin yan, kaya kong gawin toh... Eh sa ngayon, parang niloloko ko na lang ung sarili ko na may kakayahan akong gumawa ng mga bagay... Ngayon, parang lahat ng gawin ko mali eh, parang wala na nga atang tama.. Pero I'm sure ung desisyon ko ngayun? TAMA un.. ung umiwas muna--magli-low muna sa grupong iyon.. Tama ba naman kasing ibaba ang tingin ko sa sarili ko.. kumbaga mawala ung *confidence* ko sa sarili... Oo na, hindi ako magaling magsulat tulad ni Clarence, magaling magsalita tulad ni Ariane, magaling mag-design-design tulad ni Martin, o kaya maging artistic tulad ni Kizia o magaling dumiskarte tulad ni Janna!!! Sa araw-araw niyo ba namang ipakita sakin eh,, MALAMANG ALAM KO NA!!! Pero sana wag niyo nang ipamuka!! wag niyo nang ipandikdikan sa muka ko na wala akong alam!!! BOBO na kung BOBO, hindi kasi ako kasing tatalino at gagaling ninyo eh..!! PASENSYA NA!! ALAM KONG HINDI KO NAMAN KAYO MAPAPASAYANG LAHAT!! o kahit kailan!! Tao lang.. ay mali.. "BASURA" Lang... Ewan ko sa ngayon, ala kong pakialam kung sino pa ang magbasa nito...makasakit man o hindi.. WALA... buhos mo lang, nang ibuhos marcia..

Kung kakausapin niyo ko, WALA kayong makukuha sakin.. Dahil aalis lang ako at hindi kayo kakausapin tungkol sa bagay na yan.. Hindi ako ung tipo ng taong basta-basta na lang nagsasalita at nagbubuhos ng damdamin at sinasabi ung sama ng loob niya sa ibang tao..! Ano ba magagawa ko, e basura lang naman talaga kung itrato niyo ko eh.. Mas matatanggap ko pang magsulat sa kahit anong papel at dun ibuhos ung mga sama ng loob ko kesa sa kausapin niyo ko.. Kaya nga siguro dito ko na ibubuhos sa blog na ito..

Alam niyo, mas mabuti pa atang maging "LONER" kesa sa ganito eh.. Napakahirap.. At least, pag "LONER" kahit papano may natitira pang *CONFIDENCE* sa sarili mo... Eh sa ganito, akala ko masaya ko, eh "masaya" nga ba talaga ko?! Masaya ba na ginaganito ko?! ewan.. malamang hindi.. I'd prefer being a loner than to be with some people who degrade and pull me down...So, Henrik, it's not so bad being a "LONER" after all.. and SORRY..

MGA TOL.. marj, emkhey, eka, diana, joy, grae, rex, jes, berto, jheimie, karen..at kung sinu-sino pa kung me nakalimutan ako--kilala niyo na sarili niyo...MARAMING SALAMAT...sa paniniwala ninyo sakin... Lalo ka na erika, hindi mo lang alam, pero mahalaga ka sakin!! Kahit nagkaroon na ng "lamat" sating dalawa dahil kay JES, eh.. anjan ka parin, naniniwala sa kakayahan ko.. JES, kahit may kaunting ilangan na nangyayari satin, tinuring mo pa rin akong kaibigan, at dahil jan, lalo pa kitang mamahalin..joke.. mahal pa rin kita and NO REGRETS.. GRAE, napatunayan kong totoo kang kaibigan.. SALAMAT... AS FOR THE REMAINING guys and girlss.. i know you're always there whenever I need a shoulder to cry on.. And for that I thank you!!! You've all been good to me... and GUYS, I MISS YOU SO MUCH and right now, emkhey, I NEED YOU!!!!

IBUHOS MO LANG NG IBUHOS, MARCIA!!!!

2006-03-08T17:50:00.000-08:00

Ewan ko ba... Parang nagbigay na ng sign sakin si GOD.. na tama ang ginagawa kong unti-unting pag-iwas sa mga "grupo" ko ngayon... NAKAKAINIS lang kasi eh.. Parang ang BABA lang ng tingin nila sakin... Parang it doesn't matter whatever I do, I did, am gonna do..KAINIS lang talaga... Oo nga't masaya silang kasama, ngunit, kung bababaan lang nila ang tingin nila sakin, eh, THANK YOU na lang... Siguro nga'y gumagawa ako "MINSAN" ng excuses, pero that doesn't mean na lahat ng sabihin ko eh, FABRICATED noh!!!

Naiinis ako sa fact na, kung me opinyon akong sasabihin, parang hindi nila narinig...o kung narinig man nila, CHANGE TOPIC na..AYOKO ng ganon!! RESPETO naman sana sa taong nagsasalita, o kahit RESPETO lang sakin!!!

Nakakapikon pa, ung mga ibang MOODY na tao!!! Haaay naku, tatanungin mu na nga lang, nakasimangot pa kung sasagot!!! ka-bad trip talaga,,, sige nga, cnu sa inyo nde mababad trip niyan?! MALAMANG karamihan sa inyo!!! Napag-aralan namin yan sa SOCIOLOGY noh, ung epekto ng taong nakabad-trip sayo, mapapasa mo sa iba...o sa kanya mismo DUH?!?! totoo naman un eh.. kung baga, WHAT YOU GIVE, is WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET!!!... THE FEELING'S MUTUAL, ika nga... kya ayun, nung niyaya ako, SABI KO "AYOKO!..."then, walk-out...alis na..

OO GALIT ako!! Kaya ganito ko magtype... siguro nga'y sa ngayon galit ako, pero naman... kasi... nakaka-sakit na eh.. Di ko ugaling magpakita kung nasasaktan na'ko or whatever... coz I AM THAT EH... Yan tuloy, di ko maiwasang ikumpara ang HIGHSCHOOL TROPA KO at etong "grupo" nato!!!... Xempre kung nde naman ako na-ooffend ng tropa ko non, bakit ngeon, sila parang alang RESPETo...

ah... basta... ewan... yoko na....

BAD TRIP TALAGA!!!

na-miss ko bigla tropa ko... gusto ko na sila makita... miss ko na highschool days ko... ung mga tipong ala kong pakialam kung anu sabihin nila sakin dahil kahit papano, me respeto sila sakin as a person...

BAHALA NA TALAGA!!!

Daddy, Sorry...

2006-03-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

Sa tuwing iisipin kong nawala ko ang BIBLIYA ng aking AMA, takot at kaba ang aking nararamdman... Hindi sa dahil papagalitan ako ng tatay ko... (well, pagagalitan nga talaga ko) kung hindi dahil sa tiwala niya sakin na saking palagay ay biglang mawawala, sa oras na sabihin ko ito sa kanya... Hindi ko naman talaga sinasadyang mawala ang bible na iyon. Alam kong mahalagang-mahalaga iyon sa aking ama, ngunit ng dahil lang sa LETCHENG, PUTANG-INANG stress na iyan, nawala nang lahat--ang gamit ko(notebook), xerox copy ni KIZIA, at ang pinakamahalagang gamit ni daddy, ang BIBLIYA...

Matapos kong ma-realize na nawala ko ang BIBLIYA ni Daddy, nagtungo ako sa silid kung saan ko huling naiwan ang BIBLIYA at mga gamit ko...Tinignan ko sa dalawang gilid ng pisara: WALA.. Sunod ay dumirecho ako ng D.O. tinanong ko sa officer kung me nag-turn-in ng BIBLE na kulay ay violet na may Masking tape sa magkabilang dulo o edges nito. Pinatingin sa'kin ang lahat ng mga bible na tinurn-in noong araw na iyon..: WALA.. Sunod na ginawa ko, tinanong ko ung janitor kung me nakita silang bibliya, andun daw sa D.O. lahat ng tinurn-in nilang bibliya, in other words, WALA pa din... Sa sobrang ka-desperado ko, dumerecho ako ng chapel sa tapat ng library upang magdasal na muling makita ang bibliya, at ibalik sakin ng nakakuha..

Mag-iisang linggo na at hindi ko pa din nakukuha/nakikita ang BIBLIYA ni Daddy... Mangiyak-ngiyak na ko... Hanggang ngayon, na hindi ko pa rin nakikita ito, sobrang takut, lungkot at kaba ang nadarama ko... Ayokong mawala ang tiwala ng tatay ko sakin.. Nagpakahirap akong maibalik iyon noon, at ngayon, mawawala lang ba ito ng parang bula ng dahil sa kagagawan ko!?!?!

Ayoko na ata...

Araw-araw ko paring hahanapin ang Bibliya ni Daddy, at maghahanap narin ako ng katulad nito sa mga bookstores... mapa-National Bookstore, Goodwill, St. Paul's o kahit na ano pa iyan.. Papalitan ko ito, maski mahal pa (kaya nga ko nag-iipon na ngayon eh..), mabalik lang ang tiwalang sa palagay kong mawawala lang ng parang bula...

TAMA NA, NAKAKASAKAL NA!!!

2006-03-01T18:16:00.000-08:00

Ewan ko ba..

Hindi naman sa ayaw kong makasama ang grupong sinasamahan ko ngayon sa aking eskwelahan, kaya lang, para kasing nakakasakal na sila eh.. Hindi ko naman sila masisisi kung ganun ang tingin nila sakin--ung palaging alis ng alis, ang daming excuses, ayaw sumama, KJ... Hindi pa naman kasi nila ko lubusang kilala. Oo nga't may isang nagsasabi sa kanilang kilala ako pero ang totoo'y hindi naman.. Ang mga masasabi ko lang na nakakakilala sa akin ay ang malupet kong kaibigan na alam kung napipikon na ko kahit patuloy pa rin akong tumatawa, alam kung me problema ako, alam akong basahin kumbaga...

Ever since naman nung highschool eh, ganoon ako, yung tipong ayaw nasasakal--ayaw pumirmi sa isang grupo lang... May grupo din ako sa highschool at itong grupong ito sa aking palagay eh masasabi kong kilalang-kilala na talaga ako... Siguro dahil sa sobrang tagal na naming magkakakilala na simula pa noong elementary ay naging magkakaibigan na kami... Anyways, itong tropa kong to eh mahilig sa mga OPEN FORUM... kaya nagsabi sila sakin ng mga hinanakit nila na hindi na nila ko makita o makasama sa tropa.. sa iba na daw ako sumasama... Since, kilala ko na rin sila at panatag na totally ang loob ko sa kanila, nasabi ko na hindi ako sanay na sa inyo lang sumasama, "u must understand na i also need to bond with other people besides you.." at kahit hindi ko na banggitin pa ang mga salitang "nasasakal na ko" bakas na sa mga muka nila ang mga pag-iintindi na kailangan ko ng kaunting espasyo mula sa kanila... Alam nilang para sakin sila ang mga matatalik kong kaibigan, kahit na minsa'y sumasama ako sa ibang grupo...

Pero sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, ang hirap... Nakakainis na kasi!! kung saan ako pumunta andun din ung isa.. Kailangan palagi kaming magkasabay kung san-san... na talaga namang nakakasakal na... Sinasabi niyang kilala niya ko, ngunit hindi naman talaga, dahil kung kilala na nga niya talaga ko, mararamdaman niya na kailangan ko ng espasyo mula sa kanya, dahil sobrang sakal na sakal na ko sa kanya!!! Hindi naman ako galit sa kanya or something, it's just that TAMA NA, NAKAKASAKAL KA NA!!!!

Sinabi ko ito sa matalik kong kaibigan, si Marj, kagabi pagkatapos magsimba, naiintindihan niya ko..Dahil nga siguro hindi ko pa "gamay" ang grupong sinasamahan ko partikular na ung taong palagi kong kasama... Alam niya ring hindi ako sanay na nakapirmi lang sa isang lugar kasama ang mga taong madalas o araw-araw o bawat araw/sandali ay kasama ko... NAKAKASAKAL Lang talaga...

Hinihingi ko lang naman ay konting espasyo, mula sa inyo... Gusto ko na kahit minsan makapag-isa ako o humanap ng ibang kasama... Hindi naman sa ayaw ko na sa grupo natin, gusto ko talagang kasama kayo!!! Pero sana naman hindi BAWAT SANDALI... Sana maintindihan niyo ako.. As much as I wanna be with you guys, I also need some space for myself....

2006-02-14T00:08:00.000-08:00

ALAPAAP
May isang umaga, na tayo'y magsasama
Haya at halina sa alapaap
O, anong sarap, haa...

Hanggang sa dulo ng mundo
Hanggang maubos ang ubo
Hanggang gumulong ang luha
Hanggang mahulog ang tala

Chorus:
Masdan mo ang aking mata
'Di mo ba nakikita
Ako ngayo'y lumilipad at nasa langit na
Gusto mo bang sumama ?

Hindi mo na kailangan ang magtago't mahiya
Hindi mo na kailangan humanap ng iba
Kalimutan lang muna
Ang lahat ng problema
Huminga ka ng malalim at tayo'y lalarga na
Handa na bang gumala

Adlib:
Pap-pa-rap... pap-pa-rap-pa..
Pa pa pa pa (papapapa....)
La-la-la... oooh hoo hoo...

Ang daming bawal sa mundo
(Ang daming bawal sa mundo)
Sinasakal nila tayo
(Sinasakal nila tayo)
Buksan ang puso at isipan
(Buksan ang puso at isipan)
Paliparin ang kamalayan (Paliparin)

Chorus 2:
Masdan mo ang aking mata
'Di mo ba nakikita
Ako'y lumilipad at nasa alapaap na
Gusto mo bang sumama ?
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Gusto mo bang
(gusto mo bang)
Sumama ?

Happy Valentines! sarcasm involved

2006-02-13T23:15:00.000-08:00

What's the big deal nga ba pag Valentines?!

Wala.. nagbibigayan ng mga bulaklak at tsokolate o kung anu-ano pang bagay, anjan din ung may nanghaharana, at nagpro-propose, at syempre ang mga pagpunta-punta ng ibang mga magkasintahan sa mga Hotel-Motor Inn o in short--MOTEL..

Hindi naman ito actually tungkol sa motel.. hindi ko lang sinasadyang masama ang panghuling deskripsyon ko ng Valentines.. Ewan ko.. hindi naman kasi kailangan na sa Valentines mo lang ipahayag o i-express ang nilalaman ng puso mo di'ba? Kahit ibang araw maparamdam mo lang na special siya.. that's okei na..

What's so special with Feb. 14 being a Valentine's Day and all? It's just a day... actually, it's a Tribute-for-St. Valentine Day am I right or am I right? Oo nga't siya ang patron saint ng Love..pero madalas kasing i-akma ang araw na ito sa pagpapahayag ng kanilang pag-ibig.. argh.. ang MUSHY!!

Hindi naman sa ayoko ng Mushy.. ayoko lang talaga ng pakiramdam na iyon.. parang ang sweet-sweet.. eww... parang langgam na ewan..argh!!! Siguro nga'y kahit papano eh me konting inggit akong nararamdaman... PERO KONTI LANG YON!!! (hindi ako defensive sa lagay na nagagalit na ako..siguro na-miss ko lang ang mga times na kinilig ako pero not to the point na ang SUPER-TACKY at CORNY at sobrang MUSHY na ang pakiramdam.. Besides, sa isang tao lang naman ako naging mushy ah.. at hindi ito ung tipong super mushy..dahil seryoso akong--minahal ko at mahal ko parin kahit papano itong taong ito..At syempre kilala na ng lahat ang taong tinutukoy ko.. sino pa kung 'di si JES...

Kung sa palagay niyong tutungo na naman ito tungkol kay Jester, eh.. ewan ko.. bahala na.. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kasi hanggang ngayon.. andito pa rin akong naghihintay.. Parang kung tutuusin, sinumpa ko na ung sarili ko na wala nang iibigin pa kung hindi siya lang... Waaaah ang hirap naman ata nun.. ung tipo bang hindi na makakakalas..? Naalala ko nga ung kanta ng Sponge Cola e...ung UNA..eto pa nga yung line na yon eh..

walang maitutulad sa sumpang iyong nilikha,
putulin man ang tali ay sadyang walang kawala
sa pag-akit at 'di paglapit
nananalangin at umaasang...

Ewan ko nga ba..Nawa'y mawala ang sumpa.. hehe:D

HAPPY VALENTINES!

na lang sa mga couples out there.. maghahanap na rin ako.. wag keo mag-alala!! hahaha (with sarcasm involved..)

hehehehe:)

call me bad.. I just feel that way!!!

Nostalgic Feeling all ArOund

2006-02-13T02:37:00.000-08:00

wala lang..gusto ko lang mag-post.. matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi na-kapag-post dito eh..

May napanood kasi ako sa aming telebisyon--ung ke Anne Curtis ba at ke Luis Manzano sa ABS-CBN.. un ba ung nung sinabi ni Anne Curtis na "mahal ko talaga si (name of her ex daw!) tapos sagot naman ni Luis Manzano, "ano bang meron siya na wala ako?".. Naging "nostalgic" ung pakiramdam ko..ewan ko.. hehe.. kasi ganoon ung nangyari sa'kin eh.. nung mambasted ako hehehehehe.. parang gusto mong ibalik ung tanong sa lalake, kung gusto niya nga ba malaman kung ano ang meron ung lalakeng mahal mo na wala sya..eh kung sagutin mo naman iyon, ubod ka naman ng sama..parang sasabihin ng iba--"that's harsh"... harsh nga kung harsh.. nagtanong eh.. kaya lang xempre.. to play it safe, ika nga nila... wag mo na lang sagutin, bagkus ay sabihin na mas mabuti pang maging kaibigan na lang kayo.. Binasted na nga eh, tatadtarin pa ng mga meron ung lalaking mahal mo, na wala siya..tsk,tsk,tsk...Wag na kasing dagdagan pa... nakakaawa na..

Ilan pa sa mga nakapagpa-Nostalgic ng aking pakiramdam ay ang kanta ng Blue na If You Come Back--iyon kasi ung tinutugtog noon nung una kaming nag-usap sa telepono ng aking ex-boyfriend-three-days (RK ang pangalan). Naaalala ko pa nga noon na sobrang kilig ako nung tumawag siya sa telepono. Nung sinagot ko ung telepono, nag"sandali lang ha" pa ako, para lang magtatalon at magsisigaw sa loob ng banyo (wala akong ginawa okei?!) Tumakbo lang ako at nagtatalon sa labis na kasiyahan!!! At pagkatapos nga noon, kinausap ko na siya.. Haaay.. hindi niyo lang alam kung gaano ko kasaya noong mga panahon na iyon...Siya'y aking childhood crush noong grade5 pa ako.. sobra hanggang first year.. until na maging kami nga.. Nagtagal ang aming unang pag-uusap ng mahigit dalawang oras--oras na matutulog na ako! Oo nga't three days, pero hindi ko ito ikinakahiya.. naman, maging kayo ba naman kahit pansamantala lamang ng iyong pinaka-crush-mula-noong-gradeschool eh hindi ka ba naman noon matutuwa?... :)

A Tribute to One of The LEGENDS of Rock n' Roll

2006-01-09T22:49:00.001-08:00

is it possible to be in love...

with a guy....

who's already dead.... (politically incorrect, so, has passed away?!)

and haven't been able to meet--in person or thru chat or whatever???!!!

I SURE DID!!!!!

After watching ELviS' movies--SPINNIN' OUT; STAY AWAY, Joe and Live a Little, Love a Little--I swear I've fallen in love with him... waaaaaaaaahhh... It's such a shame I hadn't been born yet those times when he was still young, or better yet even before he meet Priscilla... God, if only... I could go back time and be born in the U.S. those times, I would have married ELVIS....

Imagine, which star would be in this present times, would perform live while kissing the screaming fans out there---and this, should I say is a real kiss... MOUTH to MOUTH... french kissing, if you must say!!? Now tell, me... there is no one out there who would do that...

only ELVIS... (in his concert in LAS VEGAS!! while singing, LOVE ME TENDER)

I was thinking how lucky those girls were, being kissed--a real kiss--by the Rock n' Roll King, Elvis Presley... And I was so sure, I wanna be in that moment--being kissed by the rock star legend!!! I mean, what could a girl ask for?!!?! with those good looks--mmm... those yummy, kissable lips, those beautiful deep eyes, those cheeks...oh and that steamy, hot bod!!! and that big ASSet!!, not to mention his talents--his singing voice (oh that, beautiful deep, voice--sing me, Love Me Tender, my Love...), not to mention his acting talent!!!

Man, ELVIS, is already a package....HE HAS THE WHOLE MANLY PACKAGE!!!

He has this smile that would get me down on my knees, and would leave me drooling for him...

This is for my own opinion only okay?!

I think, even with THE BEATLES joined together--meaning all four of them versus ELvis Presley... ELVIS will still be the winner...

The Talents?!?!

ELVIS-2

THE BEATLES-1

MASS APPEAL?!

ELVIS-2

THE BEATLES-1

APPEARANCE?!

ELVIS-2

BEATLES-??

STAGE PERFORMANCE?!

Elvis-1

Beatles-1

BRAVERY?!

ELVIS JOINED THE ARMY for 2 years!!!-100

DUH?!?! The answer is already obvious... Elvis is more yummy than those 4 upside-down-bowl-haired combined!!!

ELVIS IS REALLY SEXY!@!!!

I mean, really fucking sexy!!!!!

That if I were to live and be born again, I would want to be born as Priscilla Presley...his widowed wife.. she is one, lucky woman!!!

NOTE:

I'm not in love with ELVIS because I'm still in love with JESTER okay (it's over...I moved on...or have I?)?! It just so happens that there are SOME similar features between them...the lips? maybe, and the eyes..but that's all... and no more... I'm in love with ELVIS (as in I wanna marry him, if ever he comes back from the dead!, seriously!!!) because of all the things I had mentioned above!!!!

A Tribute to One of The LEGENDS of Rock n' Roll

2006-01-09T22:49:00.000-08:00

only ELVIS... (in his concert in LAS VEGAS!! while singing, LOVE ME TENDER)

Man, ELVIS, is already a package....HE HAS THE WHOLE MANLY PACKAGE!!!

He has this smile that would get me down on my knees, and would leave me drooling for him...

This is for my own opinion only okay?!

I think, even with THE BEATLES joined together--meaning all four of them versus ELvis Presley... ELVIS will still be the winner...

The Talents?!?!

ELVIS-2

THE BEATLES-1

MASS APPEAL?!

ELVIS-2

THE BEATLES-1

APPEARANCE?!

ELVIS-2

BEATLES-??

STAGE PERFORMANCE?!

Elvis-1

Beatles-1

BRAVERY?!

ELVIS JOINED THE ARMY for 2 years!!!-100

DUH?!?! The answer is already obvious... Elvis is more yummy than those 4 upside-down-bowl-haired combined!!!

ELVIS IS REALLY SEXY!@!!!

I mean, really fucking sexy!!!!!

That if I were to live and be born again, I would want to be born as Priscilla Presley...his widowed wife.. she is one, lucky woman!!!

NOTE:

The JOYS of RIDING a BUS....from LASALLE to TIMES

2005-12-12T02:15:00.001-08:00

HELL, yes, we had a bus ride... HECK! We always ride a bus after school... Except that this time, Ariane, Martin, and I were with CLARENCE, KIZIA, JANNA, MATT-HEW and JOHNREY / JOHNRAY / JOHN REY... whatever...

I had a lot of fun riding the bus with them... HELL, we never get to have them here in LASPINAS--except for MATT-HEW, JOHNREY / JOHNRAY / JOHN REY...whatever, and for Clarence who went there thrice already... So, what's left are KIZIA and JANNA...they've never ridden a bus (from LASALLE to TIMES) with us... SO IT WAS THEIR FIRST TIME... HAHA I was excited for them... I know I shouldn't be.. BuT AM PROUD TO BE A LASPINERA... or whatever you would call me... I was born and raised here so might as well, be proud... Also, I know the Pasikut-sikots in here already!! I've been a LASPINERA for 17 years now...!!!

O.K., So back to them!! We were all seated at the rear end of the bus--except for JohnRey and MATT-HEW who were seated just infront of us... That means, A BUMPY ride for us..and JANNA was enjoying the bus ride... According to her, It was like the "ride" she's ridden with her papa eric (or so she called)!! And I was so NATUTUWA!!! hahahaha... JOHNREY spilt his ketchup (MATTHEW and him had a take-out to Wendy's) and MATT-HEW spilt all his BIGGIE COKE and made a REALLY, BIGGIE MESS...Thanks to our being-quiet and all... HE DIDN'T GET CAUGHT!!!

The JOYS of RIDING a BUS....from LASALLE to TIMES

2005-12-12T02:15:00.000-08:00

shitty-shitty, bummed-bummed!!!

2005-12-12T01:37:00.000-08:00

WaaaahckO dAy Today!!!

Had my Algebra FINALS today!!! waaaahhh!! I just hope that I'll get 60 points correct for me to pass... WELL, IT BETTER BE!!! I studied for 2days just for that one!!! The exam, hmm... well, most of the problems are mejo-easy...While some of them problems are just plain hard--The functions in particular. Oh and some problems in the first part (multiple choice).

Next in the line of exam, is ARTSCHE... and woah, at least this one's fast! haha.. I was done answering all of those questions, before half of the class submitted their papers... BUT am not quite sure though if I passed. The exam is a multiple-choice type of test and well, I don't know if all my answers are correct. Oh how I wish!!!!

The Last ExAm I hAd for the day was LABCHY...And man, was it TOUGH!!!... It was a departmental exam so, each student with that course took up the same test we did... It is not the instructor who made the exam... And God, our instructor was kind enough not to lecture any of the experiments we did!!! He was kind.. coz we didn't want any lecture anyway...HELL, was I wrong.. we should've let him lectured and teach us those radiation-oxidation thingie, or the CH3COOH...chuvanezz!!! argh!!! I hate it!!! I just hope that my instincts are correct!!!

...whew!!! what a tiring day I had yesterday and the day before yesterday!!!

Last night, as I said, I studied for THE FINALS in ALGEBRA... I went to marj, for her to teach me in some problems I had a hard time learning. But, before going to mArj's place, that morning, I went to Tita Cyn's place to have some LEADERSHIP TRAINING for the upcoming YFC Youth Camp and SIGA (Service in God Assoc.) Camp--Ivan, Karla, Mon, Ate Aileen, Rose, Jodi, Jopay, Bennet(?), Bernie, Lloyd, Junius, and the other guy were there... I stayed until 1:30 and I had to go to marj's place...

At marj's place...the usual happened--talking about highschool, news about our batchmates and/or schoolmates, chuvanensis--Nicolaisis (hehe! ifyahknowattamen!!), and of course, REVIEW for the test. WENT TO MASS ALSO YESTERDAY, because I haven't gone to church since,,, hmmm... come to think of it has been a while already until yesterday... hahaha...oh and also to pray for my exams...waaaahhh...finals nA!!! EEEK!!! Then, went back to her house to continue studying... I left her place and my mom fetched me at almost 9pm.. (what the heck is algebra for?!)... Then, I went HOME...finally, to get some sleep!!! BUT!!, when I called MaRtin, there was something to do pa pala!!! waaahh.. THE INTPHIL ESSAY for final examination!!!... So I answered numbers 1 to 3... and decided to continue answering numbers 4-6 early in the morning...(at 5:30am)...

And when I woke-up a while ago, it was 5:15, and answered the essay on the go!!..I continued answering the essay up until 6:15am... And I was supposed to be ready by 6:45 and go to school to take the Bwiset-na-ALGEBRA exam at 8am...

WAAAAAHHH!!! and this unexpected traffic came upon me!!! waaaahh.. traffic along STARMALL up until RFC...then traffic again, COASTAL TOLLGATE up until EDSA road...waaaahhh.. And hell, was I LATE!!! LATE!!! LATE!!! LATE!!!... for an hour...!sob!

It's good to be back!!

2005-11-09T01:12:00.000-08:00

Finally, i'm Back!!

After quite some time--spending my two weeks "vacation" in Cebu, [Whew!!] it's good to be back...!!!Spending my two weeks in Cebu was such a hmmm.... lemme think first.. it wasn't that as boring as before... well, come to think of it, it was fun actually...--minus the fact that my grandma died a week before...WoW!! iT actually took me some time to update tyhis blog of mine!! haha,... almost three weeks or so.. well, whenever or whatever that is.. and God I miss my school...[good thing, i didn't miss any Midterm Examinations!!]...

My two weeks in Cebu involves of:

1] Sleeping

2] Eating

3] Watching Wrestling and Entertainment Channel

4] Taking Care of my BaBy Cousin, or

5] Taking Care of The DOG... SHAGGiE..miss you doggie!!

6] Taking a bath/shower

7] Visiting other relatives

8] Staying in the burial

9] repeat the routine..whew!!!

Thank God we arrived here safe and sound ...

oh and GOOD NEWS for Me!!

MaRj is not going to be enrolled in PERPS anymore,,, it's much nearer to my school... haha.. it's St. Paul College Manila... See, i told you..much much more near than Perps.. That means, more hanging out together right? no,..,. Unfortunately, our schedules didn't match, we only get to hang-out after class during thursdays.. and she'll have to wait for me to arrive there in pedro Gil for an hour. And during Tuesdays, we'll meet and ride the same bus in going to our own school! Isn't it FUNNY, FUN. FUN!!!

okay, much more serious side here,,,

nothing so much happened after I came back which was three days ago.. I had my P.E. and KaSpil class on monday [i didn't attend my INSTUD class! i was late!], I had my ChEm Lab, ENGLTWO and Intphil yesterday.. and hell!! TUESDAY is the worst day ever minus the fact with marj and my CHEM LAB class...where we made soap!! [again!]

so I think that's about it for now...

I said that we'll do..

getting bored here.. gotta meet-up with the party animals in bench fix pa e.. "MARTIN"'s getting a FOOT SPA!!! haha.. so feminine!! haha shhhh!!!

2005-09-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

God, I just love my present picture... hahaha.. neweiz.. I saw Maierhoffer today and waaaahh close to bewang lang nia ko.. wahahaha.. but daz oryt.. he's kind nmn and he's fun.. wekwekwek.. AS IF I TALKED TO HIM!!! haha.. of course not!! BANGAG ako e..But maybe someday..SOMEDAY SOON!! 'pag PRESENTABLE ako tignan.. hehehe..

just wanna post some pics..

here's my bed.. yep.. messy.. but comfy....in a way..
***sTuff toys are for decorative purposes
***rAdiO heLps me sLeeP-->i'm insomniac if u must know
***YuP so many piLlows.. why else would I say "COMFY"?!
***cellfone-part of my daily routine--waking uP!
***book also heLps me to SLeeP
***cAmeRa, for VaNity purposes..hehe =)
***comforter, well duh?! blanky?!
***NOTE: the stripe pillow there is my comfy pillow, can't sleep w/o it. literally speaking.. must bring everywhere where I have to spend the night over...

HeRe I am SLEEPY.... Zzzzzz....

gudnyt...

BITCH!

2005-09-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

Actually, right now, I'm having these PROBLEMS:

revising the first draft and turn it into the second draft
passing it tomorrow first thing before going to class
reading the KASPIL1 suggested readings..but unfortunately, I don't have the time..
watch Pinoy Big Brother---HEY! i have to admit, I'm kinda addicted to the show, I'm kinda like NENE e.. the one who has her own world and is doesn't care less of what others think of her..oh and also because of SAM...entering their world!!!THE HELL WITH YOU CHIX!!! YA, SO WHAT NOW?! U'VE PROVEN URSELF AS "THE BITCH"!!
oh and cover my lab journal... my uncovered lab journal was the reason I was send-out.. argh.. but after a while, the prof accepted my VALID EXCUSE and I was forgiven...

neweiz gotta watch PBB na.. its on na e..

CRAP!! FINANCIAL PROBLEMS EK..

2005-09-05T03:17:00.000-07:00

oh man! what can I do without money..?! hahaha.. FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS.. all we did was to SAVE and SAVE MONeY...

and SHIT... I'm one who'll be writing for this MONTH of SePTeMbEr...!!! Can ThiS geT anY woRse?!?!?! My BANK ACCOUNT is ZERO!!! hahaha.. why? for my brother's pneumonia, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

GOD!! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!!?!?!

IS THIS A TEST?!?!

oh yea, and I'm not yet enrolled btw....

what Am I supposed to do?!?!?! we have LOW BUDGET... my dad keeps FAILING his MEDICAL EXAM... my other brother's tuition fee needs to be paid and all.. waaaaahhh... can't take this anymore...

And additional to my VERY-STRESSFUL-LIFE, I'm gonna be writing an article... and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE!!!!!!

also next week, will be the first day of classes for the second term.

right next to me, is marj... reminiscing about hER EX-BOYFRIEND... duh?!?!!?!?!?! ewwwew?!?! WHO BY THE WAY, COURTED me for some time... and kept passing and passing my number to whoever....!!! DUH... kamuka naman ni Pacquio yan.,.. eww... GROSS!!!!!.... and now she's crying!!! DUH!! CAN"T BELIEVE iT... waaaaaahhh....

kei.. till my PC's condition is ok na.. babush!!!!

P.S.
met with emkhEy [baboy] and marj and diana [lingering scent!!!] today.. went to TimEs, SM and SING a whole lot of songs..

insane!!!

2005-08-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

waaahhhhcko!!! mE!!!

I just arrived from Bulacan (it's the Christening of my dear nephew, Kosuke from Japan and I'm one of the ProXi ninangs).

Anyways, its not about that anyway, so i'L just jump to whatever this is about!!! As I washed-up and dried-up after arriving here at home, i decided to "halungkat" my Personal Drawer in my Cabinet. I came upon my project in my Creative and Technical Writing in Fourth Year.

I decided to bring it up and read it on my bed. Besides, I was thinking to revise it because I might post that "short story" in here and my other blogs. At the part when the "lead" in my story encounters the problem or the "highlight" and TRAGEDY of the story, I began feeling a little sentimental and emotional [don't u dare!!]. Well because for one reason, if u should know, my Short story was based in my life.

But neweiz it's not that pa!.. As I was beginning to be sentimental reading the first part of the tragedy, The radio began playing "IN A RUSH" by bLackstreet.... SHIT!!! SHIT!! DEEP SHIT!!!

SHIT!! IS THIS REAKL?! IS THIS COINCIDENCE OR JUST SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?! I mean, what other else can I do?! Of course, but CRY...I cried.

I was beginning to be a bit sentimental about the story coz the part I was reading was about when the lead character begins to realize that she really does love the guy; and the part when the lead's bestfriend was set-up'd with the guy she loves... and all... basta un na un... i'll post it na lng.. sometime...

okei.. As I was reading it..then played the SONG!! and not just any song, but MY SONG FOR MYSELF DURING THE TIME "it" happened to me!!! [aka. IN A RUSH].... Damn, did I cry so hard!! Tears kept falling.. Realizing to myself that I'm still not over that guy!! That STUPID-NUMB-HELL-OF-A GUY!!! Still questioning, "WHY CAN'T HE LOVE ME?!... I DID MY BEST AT LOVING HIM..WHY?!" and "WHAT IS IT WITH ME THAT HE CAN'T FIND?!"...

I may be mushy right now, THE HELL I CARE!!! If it's about him, there'll be NO "mushy-mushy" stuffs or "cheesy-corny" stuffs.. COZ THIS IS REAL!!!

"CAN'T GET OVER HIM... STILL IT CAME
OVER ME IN A RUSH... BUT I'M TRYING TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT, HIDING INSIDE
MYSELF THE REALITY THAT I'M SLOWLY LOSING MY MIND BECAUSE ---HE'S STILL THE ONE
AND I DO STILL LOVE
HIM"

PURE COINCIDENCE?!
Why?!... is everything about him coincidental?!:
*the signs?
*the moments?
*the wish?
*and others such as this one..?

or is this fate?...

MAny people say that FATE is not true--that it's only psychological, that it's only in your hands or head to make things happen or whatever....HELL!! Did I expect that all the signs of him will be true?! Did I expect that I'd even love him like this?! and Did I even expect that after that "thing" happened and I returned to my friend's house, the music playing was "ONE LAST CRY"..the lyrics being, "I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else..." exactly what happened when I saw them both?! or expect that IN A RUSH will play while reading my SHORT STORY based on the "thing" that happened to me?! OR even right now, as I write here, the radio--playing "HAVE YOU EVER"--one other song I heard besides ONE LAST CRY when that "thing" happened?...Also, did I ever expected that the lines JULIANNE and MICHAEL in MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING is just the same as our's at the night I confessed all my feelings, only translated?! [And I never did even watched MY BESTFRIEND'S WEDDING before that night!!]

I never did expected those things! Nor Did I wish for it to happen.. What I only wished for is him...Although some or may I say, MANY may argue, I think that it's fate... It's SPONTANEOUS...never planned..[but I do have to admit.. the night when I confessed all my feelings, were planned..BUT I SWEAR, I HAVE NEVER WATCHED "MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING" anytime before that night!!! I never expected that what he's going to say is just the same as what MICHAEL answered JULIANE..]

But come to think of it... I kinda' doubt that too!!! Yes, it might be coincidental... THAT'S ALL!!!

PROBLEM: HOW TO GET OVER HIM...BESIDES FINDING A NEW GUY TO DROOL ON?!

missing those times

2005-08-27T06:09:00.000-07:00

hi.. iT's mE aGeN.. uR FriEnd fRom NoWhEre SpAce...

feel bummed aNd LaZy.. WaNna SpEnd more TiMe wiTh mAh FrieNd--mArJ... haha.. i just miss the times when we just lie down and tell stories, talk about things and stuffs, laugh at shallow jokes and mistakes, reminisce the past and such...

Oh.. what can I sAy?! I juSt miSs ThoSe TimEs... Coz nOw. i'm sure enuf that those days before won't be happening agen..well of course, because of our sKed.. and the fact that I have my own group of friends in college and she has her own... hAaaaaayyy... How I miss the times..

--> hEre Am I with MARJ[right side]

I aLso miss my other bestfriend--mk..She's been like what?! my bestfriend ever since... I can't remember.. what the?! Of course I remember.. since Aug. 11, 2005.. But I never did notice her worth until the "happening-on-the-last-part-of-third-year". Hehe :)...buT sTill how I miss hEr..hehe.. How we bOnded during our "cutting classes" in high school and hang-out at the Guidance office with Mrs. Guro, Ate Nurse, Sir Guba and/or SiR ViñaLon. BuT ThoSe Days were over.. I know they have their own GROUP OF FRIENDS...and that they'll be BUSY.. mK is the one I really miss!! I miss her a Lot! shhh!! haha.. LaGoT! I got caught na!.. hehe.. sTill, I miss the things I do to her!!---TorTURE hER!!!!..what else!?!?! haha..:D

----heRe Am I wiTh eMkHeY [LeFt]

I LoVe Them..I miss Them.. I miss the way we hang-out..and the things we do to while the time.. and most of all.. I miss the times when we were TOGETHER!!!

Beneath The Surface

BLOGSPOT officially closed.

Me? Depressed trying to die?... NAH......

I might as well die....

name decoder

For Lolo Raffy

The Killers/ kilig factor attacks me!!

I HATE YOUR GUTS...

IT'S SO UNFAIR....

Proof of STRESS

"A smile as memorable as historic PAL flight" --Philippine Daily Inquirer Via Thomson Dialog NewsEdge

NO MORE LATE And ABSENCES for me..

TICKLE TEST RESULTS...

Kukai, YOUR song is Another One Bites the Dust

Kukai, Taking the Scenic Route makes your mouth water

Kukai, a Change of Scenery will upgrade your style

LONDON LONDON LONDON MAKES MY BRIDGE FALL DOWN...

INSPIRED

Ironically speaking,

nang dahil lang sa sabog-sabog na practice

Me as a stunt woman...

NOTICE...FILDLAR posts...

how old am i? tell me, tell me!!!

Philippines, a free country? (FILDLAR#3)

Regarding my brickhouse in the middle of nowhere...

chooz-days and tarz-days are bummer

I'm an artiste...

my Troublemaker!

The vanishings...

Pwede Ba by Soapdish

my rating

tawagin mo kong kaibigan

Mahal, kaya mo pa ba? (FILDLAR#2)

Pinagpasapasahang Responsabilidad (FILDLAR#1)

Who's this girl?

Frequently Asked Questions

beneath the surface.

CLUEs:...

I'm Coming.... Yuchee!

3 C's : Childish, Cute, Crush

i must.. i must... I must lose the FATS!!

LIST OF SONGS

wehh... di nga?!

Retainers, Polaris and YOUTH CAMP...

biofuel... damn i'm famous na!!

summer blues...or frustrations..

Pinagpapasahang Responsabilidad

SLiDe and SPLASH!

hate post..letter whatever you call this..

roses and a pig

haaaayyy.. juskupo!!!

TYPE A KA KASI!!!

kUmAiN ka nA nMaN nG sALiTa..tsktsktsk..

JUST FOR FUN!!

BASURA ka lang...

IBUHOS MO LANG NG IBUHOS, MARCIA!!!!

Daddy, Sorry...

TAMA NA, NAKAKASAKAL NA!!!

Happy Valentines! *sarcasm involved*

Nostalgic Feeling all ArOund

A Tribute to One of The LEGENDS of Rock n' Roll

A Tribute to One of The LEGENDS of Rock n' Roll

The JOYS of RIDING a BUS....from LASALLE to TIMES

The JOYS of RIDING a BUS....from LASALLE to TIMES

shitty-shitty, bummed-bummed!!!

It's good to be back!!

BITCH!

CRAP!! FINANCIAL PROBLEMS EK..

insane!!!

missing those times

Happy Valentines! sarcasm involved