insane!!!

waaahhhhcko!!! mE!!!

I just arrived from Bulacan (it's the Christening of my dear nephew, Kosuke from Japan and I'm one of the ProXi ninangs).

Anyways, its not about that anyway, so i'L just jump to whatever this is about!!! As I washed-up and dried-up after arriving here at home, i decided to "halungkat" my Personal Drawer in my Cabinet. I came upon my project in my Creative and Technical Writing in Fourth Year.

I decided to bring it up and read it on my bed. Besides, I was thinking to revise it because I might post that "short story" in here and my other blogs. At the part when the "lead" in my story encounters the problem or the "highlight" and TRAGEDY of the story, I began feeling a little sentimental and emotional [don't u dare!!]. Well because for one reason, if u should know, my Short story was based in my life.

But neweiz it's not that pa!.. As I was beginning to be sentimental reading the first part of the tragedy, The radio began playing "IN A RUSH" by bLackstreet.... SHIT!!! SHIT!! DEEP SHIT!!!

SHIT!! IS THIS REAKL?! IS THIS COINCIDENCE OR JUST SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?! I mean, what other else can I do?! Of course, but CRY...I cried.

I was beginning to be a bit sentimental about the story coz the part I was reading was about when the lead character begins to realize that she really does love the guy; and the part when the lead's bestfriend was set-up'd with the guy she loves... and all... basta un na un... i'll post it na lng.. sometime...

okei.. As I was reading it..then played the SONG!! and not just any song, but MY SONG FOR MYSELF DURING THE TIME "it" happened to me!!! [aka. IN A RUSH].... Damn, did I cry so hard!! Tears kept falling.. Realizing to myself that I'm still not over that guy!! That STUPID-NUMB-HELL-OF-A GUY!!! Still questioning, "WHY CAN'T HE LOVE ME?!... I DID MY BEST AT LOVING HIM..WHY?!" and "WHAT IS IT WITH ME THAT HE CAN'T FIND?!"...

I may be mushy right now, THE HELL I CARE!!! If it's about him, there'll be NO "mushy-mushy" stuffs or "cheesy-corny" stuffs.. COZ THIS IS REAL!!!

"CAN'T GET OVER HIM... STILL IT CAME
OVER ME IN A RUSH... BUT I'M TRYING TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT, HIDING INSIDE
MYSELF THE REALITY THAT I'M SLOWLY LOSING MY MIND BECAUSE ---HE'S STILL THE ONE
AND I DO STILL LOVE
HIM"

PURE COINCIDENCE?!
Why?!... is everything about him coincidental?!:
*the signs?
*the moments?
*the wish?
*and others such as this one..?

or is this fate?...

MAny people say that FATE is not true--that it's only psychological, that it's only in your hands or head to make things happen or whatever....HELL!! Did I expect that all the signs of him will be true?! Did I expect that I'd even love him like this?! and Did I even expect that after that "thing" happened and I returned to my friend's house, the music playing was "ONE LAST CRY"..the lyrics being, "I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else..." exactly what happened when I saw them both?! or expect that IN A RUSH will play while reading my SHORT STORY based on the "thing" that happened to me?! OR even right now, as I write here, the radio--playing "HAVE YOU EVER"--one other song I heard besides ONE LAST CRY when that "thing" happened?...Also, did I ever expected that the lines JULIANNE and MICHAEL in MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING is just the same as our's at the night I confessed all my feelings, only translated?! [And I never did even watched MY BESTFRIEND'S WEDDING before that night!!]

I never did expected those things! Nor Did I wish for it to happen.. What I only wished for is him...Although some or may I say, MANY may argue, I think that it's fate... It's SPONTANEOUS...never planned..[but I do have to admit.. the night when I confessed all my feelings, were planned..BUT I SWEAR, I HAVE NEVER WATCHED "MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING" anytime before that night!!! I never expected that what he's going to say is just the same as what MICHAEL answered JULIANE..]

But come to think of it... I kinda' doubt that too!!! Yes, it might be coincidental... THAT'S ALL!!!

PROBLEM: HOW TO GET OVER HIM...BESIDES FINDING A NEW GUY TO DROOL ON?!